Mohkia

I usually just improvise and wing it. It stresses my husband out I think. He likes to plan. 😆

Ah yes! How could i forget about waiting mode. This is super fun times right here. 100% recommend!

Both tech and horses here…uh oh. 😂 alas, to damned expensive for horses and did’t get back into tech after i moved to be withvmy husband., decided to randomly pick up horticulture as a career choice instead.

Thanks, I said my good Byes Saturday while she was still conscious enough to respond, she passed Sunday evening at home in her sleep. I didn’t want to stress her by taking her to the vet and she didn’t seem to be in distress so I let her pass naturally. She had a good long life, trying to just think about that and not get caught up in sadness.

As for classes, I’m taking an intro to horticulture class and an intro to psychology class. This is a trial semester and i’m kind of testing the waters. I have a bad past record with college and am stressing over this but I must defeat my inner demons. Trial by fire I guess. I start next week and am already feeling a bit overwhelmed as I was just reading the class prep notes and am sitting here wondering what did I get myself into? I am just ignoring that particular inner voice right now. I can do this!

I kind of just have issues keeping my attention on either honestly, unless I suddenly get absorbed in the topic which does happen and then I marathon read/listening. I just do what I can when I can. At least listening i can just rewind when I fade off and I can do other stuff while listening where as reading I need to be low enough energy to sit long enough. I do enjoy the tactile feeling of reading a real book and flipping through the pages when I manage it. I apparently have 3 different books going right now and it’s taking me forever to read them.

As for how I’m doing this week? I don’t know, nervous about the classes I’m starting in a few weeks, trying to get back to where I was at before the holidays, some mistakes where made but I am forgiving myself and moving on from it. My cat is not doing well (she is very old) and I might have to say goodbye soon, I’m having emotions that I haven’t sorted about the entirety of last year and trying to figure out where to go from here with the new year. All in all though I am okay and just taking it one day at a time.

This is so very sad and hurts my heart. And seeing as we are being serious here I will add that I was very close to being part of this statistic about a year ago. For so many of us it was not caught when we where kids and it is no surprise to me to see these kinds of numbers. And those are just a couple statistics, we also have more accidents, more unwanted/unplanned pregnancies, more chance of substance abuse, more other health issues do to poor choices and not looking after our needs, reduced life expectancy from these choices, the list goes on. I think it was Russell Barkley that talks of this.

I try really hard to make earlier in the day appointments now because of this. Of course once the appointment or whatever it is is done I still don’t do anything else with the day because you know what? All that waiting was exhausting and now I’m spent.

Ooph, I feel this, I almost just got in an argument with my husband again about money spent…I’m going to go hide my credit card from myself now.

It’s like Christmas all year round! I see nothing wrong with this! 😃

Thanks for sharing this. I didn’t have a name for this feeling until I was diagnosed with ADHD and started learning more about it and all that comes along with it. Though I would not wish this on anyone else it is good to know sometimes that we are not the only ones going through these struggles.

Yep! Me too. 3 is the lucky number here! Though I do suspect living with undiagnosed ADHD my whole life led up to the other two. I’m just a bundle of fun over here.

My week has been okay. Work has been a bit chaotic running around trying to fix problems. At least it wasn’t me that caused them this time and I was able to get brownie points for helping deal with it. My whole schedule was turned upside down and had to work a full week but I could use the extra money so I guess that is a win. I also found my security badge I lost last week for one of my accounts, so that was a relief.

I guess I’m just happy to have come out of this work week seemingly in a good place and that is a reason to celebrate. I’ve managed to take some steps towards figuring out passport and school related stuff too so it’s been a good week mostly. We’ll aside from the initial panic of not being able to find my badge. Literally saw it this morning randomly hiding in a box on top my dresser wedged in a corner. Not sure how it got there. I blame magic house elves. Anyways, it worked out as I needed it today so yay.

I feel called out by this statement. At least something is getting done though.

I most definatly notice a worsening of symptoms during the luteal phase. As well over the past couple years I’d say my symptoms have gotten significantly worse overall due to incoming peri which actually ended up getting me diagnosed as I just couldn’t cope anymore. At least now I know why i have had the issues I’ve had over the years but now I’m super not excited about the hormonal roller coaster i am on. The Peri is still pretty mild so I just started back on birth control again to stabilize hormones so that’s helping but instill have my bad days. And though I am glad I have the meds now and they work well usually, the hormonal chaos does make them less effective which is frusterating on those days.

That is so demeaning! Fragile? Like what? If you have adhd it can make every day things stressful and difficult and dont evem gdt me atarted on self image. I would definitely get a second opinion. Could be you have it, could be you don’t but at least find someone that has more to offer for an explanation than that. It’s exhausting and nerve-wracking for sure but don’t give up.

That is so frustrating. I’m glad your wife finally got help but that must have been stressful for her. Also a 5 minute assessment is just silly, for anyone it should be longer. Funny how they so easily diagnosis it for men without question. Not trying to discount your diagnosis but just wanted to state the hypocrisy between the two evaluations (yours and your wifes).

Thanks for posting this. Definatly resonates. Makes me sad to think of how many women have lived most of their lives struggling more than they should be because it was thought it just wasn’t a thing women had. Barely anybody does studies or research on women,we are just to complicated with our hormones they say. But that is unacceptable. It’s getting better slowly, but we still have a long way to go.

I wasnt diagnosed until this year at 44. It had come up as a suspicion when I was doing a search a few years prior to why I was having certain issues but I didn’t take it serious. Like many I didn’t understand what adhd actually was, just thought it was the stereotypical view most people have. Then a therapist I was seeing for depression this year suggested I get tested. It wasn’t easy, first try was very dismissive and rude, I almost just gave up then, the second time went much better, they actually let me talk and got a proper history from me. I am finally getting help for all my problems, adhd included.

I just want to encourage any women out there that are struggling and think maybe this might be a possibility to at least try to get tested. Don’t suffer in silence. We need to speak up louder when the world won’t listen. I wish you all the best in your journey wherever you are on this path.

If I’m not really into what I’m reading the words are just words and I dont really absorb what is being said, if I am interested in what I’m reading however its the opposite and I don’t even see words, just knowledge or if its a story I disappear into another world. It’s one or the other and I can’t force it. I think I must hit some kind of hyperfocus mode when I am able because usually when this happens it’s hard to pull myself out of what I’m reading. I need to figure out how to turn that mode on manually. 😆

Not in tech anymore but I definitely do this with my jobs. It really sucks because I could be doing so much more but I just can’t be bothered to care after the I got a new job and this is interesting phase. But at least I have these random bits of information that I can pretend to be smart with thst come up at the most inopportune times. 🤣 I feel you on the imposter syndrome.

At 22 you still have most of your life to live. Be glad you found out now and not at 44. Diagnosed this summer and it’s good to know, but at the same time all those years of flailing kind of make me sad. All I can do though is move on from here and I hope you can do the same.