But I don’t want to commit to a subscription

There are certain cases where a subscription makes sense (password managers, weather apps, and content apps like Netflix and Spotify come to mind specifically).

Not my problem to deal with

You could have just said you didn’t know what you were talking about from the get go…

The lack of cooling in the air is definitely something that should be fixed

That’s not really the point of the MacBook Air. The Air lineup has always been about doing quick, bursty tasks effectively (email, web browsing, word documents etc). Apple Silicon chips have gotten to the point where fans are not necessary to achieve this objective, so Apple skips a fan in the Air models to help better differentiate the various MacBook models.

The 14in MacBook Pro with M3 chip is essentially just a high-end MacBook Air, as it carries most of the same limitations minus cooling.

all the structure needed for it takes substantial space where every millimeter is at a premium

The rumored magnetic system that the Apple Watch X is supposed to be using does not look like it will be saving much space at all, if any.

For 2.5 hours of not using it every day

I’ve been using an Apple Watch for several years now, and I have never drained one of them completely in that time. The routine that /u/Apollo—User suggested works great, and hardly takes the 2.5 hours you’ve claimed

I don’t see how redesigning the band connector will lead to improved battery life…

Because it’s a LTT channel?

My only complain is the lack of Wi-Fi 7

As /u/januszeal pointed out, WiFi 7 has not been completely finalized yet. Additionally, it’s not like WiFi 6E is slow or will become slow in the useful lifetime of this laptop.