@Leax177 - eviltoast
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Joined 2 months ago
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Cake day: March 19th, 2025

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  • I apologize for the vagueness here, part of it comes from, just, I guess not knowing I suppose? I’ll try and make this as short as possible. Basically, I was raised in a Catholic household, and part of that is why I would eventually push Christianity away when I realized I was Gay, because I felt like Abrahamic religions were incompatible with LGBTQ rights. That was also part of it, but the other part was I just didn’t fit in with anyone at that particular church (which also wasn’t Queer friendly) so I became a militant atheist when I accepted my Queerness. After years of depression and not doing much with my life, I started to think more about those I’ve lost, and many months ago started to have a series of reoccurring dreams in which my dogs, who passed a few years ago, were in this beautiful… Place. I don’t know what to call it.

    Anyway, I realized that if there is an afterlife, I can only imagine how disappointed they’d be that I’ve wasted these years depressed, angry, and not doing anything with my life. So that’s why I’m searching for something that assures me that they’re okay, and that tells me that one day I’ll see them again, and that I’m not a mistake or a burden. My spirit feels so broken, but for my precious fur babies, I want to try. I want them to be proud of me. I know this might seem silly to some, but besides wanting to find a sense of community, belonging, and wanting to heal the scars in my soul, my dogs are one of my biggest reasons for trying to find what spirituality means for me and trying to change for the better.

    Any input would be greatly appreciated. 🙏