Cap

The probability that a monkey would throw its shit against the wall and have it look exactly like Shakespeare is, on the other hand, extremely likely in our lifetime.

First, I throw in a jalapeno as a life preserver, then I come in with the second chip like an S.S. Minnow sent from heaven. Finally I Mobey Dick the rescue team and send them to the depths of hell that is my digestive tract.

Is the goal to get last place?

Looks like an albino Harvey Weinstein.

Can’t believe that glass at the bottom of the photo has survived being on the counter without a cat pawing it off.

616 gallons per flush.

I just wanted a knightcap…

PETER VENKMAN: He’s gonna take a little nap now, but, uh, he says he’s Florida Man. Does that make any sense to you?

EGON SPENGLER: Some. I just met California Man. He’s here with me now.

PETER VENKMAN: Oh, wonderful. We have to get these two together.

EGON SPENGLER: I think that would be extraordinarily dangerous.

Yea I thought about that 5 minutes after posting. 1970s Boeing was competent.

I’ll take “Things not built by Boeing” for 800, Alex.

Well don’t keep me in suspense! What was her answer?!

Sounds like the hamster wants out.

I read the title as someone from Boston saying, 'He got the job, didn’t he?!?"

We call that a prison pacifier!

Good one! I didn’t see that coming!

We’ve been using Master/Bater down at the church.

I’ve never played these games but after 16 I’m starting to think they are gaslighting us with the word “Final”.

The first boy she French kissed choked to death.

There is a species of flying fish in the northwest Pacific region called Boeing interruptus that struggles to get airborne.

The 1970 act explicitly protected “fish,” which were initially defined as invertebrates. And because the act has protected snails and other invertebrates that live on land since, Tuesday’s ruling said it interpreted the legislation to also include bees.

I’d link to the article but it’s a nightmare.