Secret Service ends White House cocaine investigation with no leads - eviltoast
  • theyresocool@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Spoiler alert: its all of them.

    If it ain’t a Senator on that piff it’s definitely a staffer or a cop.

    Not the WH chef though. That dudes a beast.

  • ME5SENGER_24@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    We had evidence collected but then Steve had a bit. Then Gary had a go at it. Mark got a nose bleed after his line. So then Carl, naturally, had to make sure it wasn’t murderous cocaine and had himself a bump. Then we all did one together, you know, for team building and what not.

    Well, in the end, all the evidence has somehow, magically disappeared…right under our noses. We’re all very shocked. Gary’s a bit jittery.

  • zpm@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    I know warehouses and office spaces with cameras that capture literally everything with off the shelf devices. How can they not have at minimum 2MP 22FPS of every square inch of that space. I simply don’t understand.

    If it had been anthrax or something awful, a bomb, an empty pipe… They have no way of knowing who put it there? Absurd.

  • Son_of_dad@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Seems kinda silly. I know they HAVE to investigate, but I’d imagine that once they realized it was cocaine and not anthrax, things would just fizzle out like this.

      • iAmTheTot@kbin.social
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        1 year ago

        Pretty sure the original comment was sarcasm.

        Edited to add, that really got deleted by a mod? It was pretty tame.

        • C3ltic@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          When millions of people unironically say this shit every day, sarcasm isn’t really viable

    • QHC@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      If it is, why does it matter? Is Hunter secretly the real President?

      • afraid_of_zombies@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        I don’t get why he isn’t able to sue everyone for this. Like actively accusing someone of a felony with no evidence is protected speech?

      • Lurial@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        It matters since his son got special treatment in his gun case that any other American woulda went to jail for.

        It matters because he claims publicly that he is over his drug use.

        It matters because his laptop which was real was covered up by the media and democrats.

        It matters because of his shady business dealings overseas acting as a launderer for his father.

        It matters because he brought cocaine into the white house and it’s once again being covered up.

        • gabevill@lemm.ee
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          1 year ago

          Do… do you really think Hunter Biden, the president’s adult son, just hangs out at the white house, one of the most heavily surveiled places on earth, just doing coke?

          • Leperhero@lemmy.ml
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            1 year ago

            Heavily surveiled, and still couldnt figure out whos it was. Sounds like if he were to do it, he’d be safe.