Do you actually care about your friend's new baby, vacation abroad or similar life events or are you just being nice? - eviltoast

Because I don’t, and pretending to feels dishonest. I’ll listen if they want to talk about it, but I’m not going to act interested, and I certainly won’t ask about it on my own. What I’m trying to figure out is whether people actually care, or if they’re just playing a social game that I’m simply not interested in.

I’m probably on the autistic spectrum, which likely explains this to some extent. But that’s not an excuse - being an asshole is perfectly compatible with autism, so before dunking on me, please realise I probably agree with your criticism.

  • Countess425@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    It doesn’t necessarily have to be about a trip you took. It could be about anything, even something you feel you were specifically asked about. Do you think the people who ask you about those things really care about the things you care about the same way you do and so they want to hear everything you have to say? Maybe they do, but it’s really very rare for people to care about things the exact way anybody else does.

    Just because somebody asked doesn’t mean they care about the thing. A significant majority of the time people ask, and then actually listen, it’s because they care about you, not any particular thing. And those people probably like to be heard just as much.