Misgendering does not rule - eviltoast
  • inb4_FoundTheVegan@lemmy.world
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    30 days ago

    Even with a trans person does something shitty, such as Blair White, Caitlyn Jenner or Ezra Miller, it’s not a free pass to misgender them. The only effect of that is the trans people in your life know you aren’t the ally you claim to be. You aren’t misgendering your friends because you are polite. It’s absolutely not okay, keep criticizing crappy trans folk, but when you intentionally misgender then you attack all of us.

    • YtA4QCam2A9j7EfTgHrH@infosec.pub
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      30 days ago

      There is a literal nazi who chose the name Augustus Invictus and I will call him that as I wish for him the absolute worst. He is on trial so hopefully he gets the worst.

      • inb4_FoundTheVegan@lemmy.world
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        29 days ago

        Sure. I chose those three because they are probably the biggest names that trans people might feel comfortable misgendering.

        Ezra Miller is an actor who played the superhero The Flash in the last few movies, they are also non-binary and use they/them prounouns. There is a lot of details on wikipedia but the TL:DR Ezra started a relationship with an underage fan (Ezra was 23, she was 12) and this led to kidnapping claims by her parents and a restraining order. They are a real piece of shit IMO.

        BLaire White is a right wing youtuber who regularly posts things like this. She also has said repeatedly that “trans women aren’t real women, just trans women”, suffice to say she is generally disliked by the broader trans community.

        Caitlyn Jenner does and says similar things, but with a much bigger microphone. She has been a vocal supporter of Trump and generally the openly transphobic MAGA movement. She ran for governor of California and during her failed campaign, said she would ban trans kids from competing in sports. Currently, she is a Fox News correspondent and regularly appears just saying the most awful things. Much like Blaire, Caitlyin is not well liked by the trans community.

          • inb4_FoundTheVegan@lemmy.world
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            29 days ago

            Strictly speaking about the content of the movie and not my opinion of the lead actor.

            The Flash movie is… odd. A big time travel alter dimensional mess. Fun enough if you sorta turn your brain off, wonderful visual effects just don’t think too hard on any particular plot point.

      • inb4_FoundTheVegan@lemmy.world
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        27 days ago

        I can’t say if they identify with that term, just that Ezra is nonbinary. However “trans” is an umbrella term encompassing lots of different identities, such as transgender, transexual, intersex, non-binary etc.

        So Ezra was included because I thought they would be the most widely known shitty person that has a gender identify still worthy of respect.

  • 1stTime4MeInMCU@mander.xyz
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    30 days ago

    Also applies to misogyny in general. You can call out terfs (or just regular anti trans conservative women) for being bigoted shit faces without resorting to gendered attacks.

  • ShareMySims@sh.itjust.works
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    30 days ago

    Ooh, this is a great template, can be applied to all variety of bigotry, which people feel is ok as long as it’s aimed at other bigots, ignoring the fact that all they’re doing is putting more bigotry out in to the world, and telling marginalised people around them that they aren’t safe.

    • shneancy@lemmy.world
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      30 days ago

      can be applied to any shitty behaviour tbh. Too many people think that once someone is shitty to them, they have free reign to also be shitty as a payback. They think they gave the asshole a piece of their own medicine, but actually they started rolling in the mud with them

      • ShareMySims@sh.itjust.works
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        29 days ago

        Hard disagree.

        Calling an asshole an asshole has no oppressive or marginalising power. It is a direct consequence of someone’s behaviour, and has no impact on anyone but the asshole being called an asshole. Take it a step further and switch “asshole” to “Nazi” then go read about the paradox of tolerance and the social contract theory that resolves it.

        Misgendering on the other hand (just like using sexist, racist, ableist and so on language) reinforces the existing structures of marginalising and oppressive powers, and has a deep and harmful impact not on the, for example, transphobe you’re misgendering, but on trans people you’re supposedly attacking the transphobe to defend.

        This outrageous comparison between someone shitty being called shitty, and a transphobe being misgendered, is exactly the kind of bullshit bigots and other bullies twist to make themselves the victims and whine about being oppressed when they are the ones oppressing others.

        Don’t buy in to it, and definitely don’t play along, unless you want to enable them.

        • shneancy@lemmy.world
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          29 days ago

          nowhere did i say that calling an asshole an asshole is bad. What i did say that acting like an asshole towards the asshole is bad, as it lowers you to the same level as them, and additionally reinforces the asshole’s behaviour & continues the cycle of assholery

    • rumschlumpel@feddit.org
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      29 days ago

      Yeah, it’s going pretty damn hard. There’s so many different things it fits on, like all the different kinds of bodyshaming (e.g. fat shaming, calling something “small dick energy”, talking about Trump’s small hands).

    • JoJo@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      30 days ago

      I’m sorry, but what are you trying to say here? Why are you saying this to this specific image?

  • ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world
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    30 days ago

    I often ask people who deadname (bad) trans people if they also deadname Stalin. Oh, the mental gymnastics I often see…

  • Alice@beehaw.org
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    29 days ago

    People will accuse you of condoning a trans person’s shitty actions if you gender them correctly, then turn around and use the proper pronouns for literal dictators

  • moosetwin@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    30 days ago

    yeah it’s depressing seeing people decide that it’s okay to do asshole things if it is towards asshole people, I understand that you want to be a jerk back but it makes me feel like we lost the progress we just made towards not doing the asshole thing

    • OrnateLuna@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      29 days ago

      At least the issue for me isn’t the being an asshole to an asshole it’s the throwing other people under the bus while being an asshole to the asshole.

  • Suavevillain@lemmy.world
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    29 days ago

    I’ve seen right-wingers try to weaponize misgendering as some walk on eggshells type of thing. But it really isn’t. Just apologize if you do misgender someone and make sure to use their correct pronouns.

  • jabjoe@feddit.uk
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    29 days ago

    Exactly how I felt about those pictures of Andrew Tate in swim trunks with seamingly no budgie to smuggle. Him being shitty to trans, doesn’t make it OK to mock him for maybe being trans. Makes us no better.

  • Gladaed@feddit.org
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    29 days ago

    Yes, but actually no. Using deadnames of companies is much more acceptable than for people.

    • Glytch@lemmy.world
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      29 days ago

      Despite what the Supreme Court will tell you, corporations aren’t actually people, so you don’t have to worry about dead naming them.

    • samus12345@lemmy.world
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      29 days ago

      Deadnaming is not necessarily misgendering. Sometime people have deadnames for reasons other than gender.

  • ChonkyOwlbear@lemmy.world
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    30 days ago

    The one exception should be teachers who refuse to stop misgendering a student, and then only done by the other students.

  • Klear@sh.itjust.works
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    29 days ago

    Meanwhile Alfred will be going around misgendering people because he does not give a crap about Batman’s rule.

  • beefbot@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    29 days ago

    Ugh but it’s so EASY to upset anti-trans people who are so invested in hurting others by using this tactic, and they deserrrrrve it so much

  • Queen HawlSera@lemm.ee
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    30 days ago

    Looks at Caitlyn Jenner We recognize your status as woman, but you are now on this council. Do not take a seat.

    I will however misgender cispeople who are openly bigoted, as a “Uno Reverse Card” on their “Transvestigation” nonsense…

    Wait I just realized that term is a pun on “Transvestite” and Transvestism has literally nothing to be with being trans… If I were to wear a woman’s clothing I’m not wearing the opposite gender’s clothing for kicks, because I AM a woman, god damn it htese mother fuckers.

    Also it’s okay to deadname a corporation, or Jesse Mcree, or Dr. Robotnik. Probably shouldn’t deadname Mr. Satan, the name Hercule is on fucking life support and that’s probably for the best… But don’t be that dick who says they’re boycotting DBZ because Vegeta deadnames Goku by calling him “Kakarot”

    I have sadly seen that argument before…

    Wait what the fuck am I talking about anymore?

    • inb4_FoundTheVegan@lemmy.world
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      30 days ago

      Wait what the fuck am I talking about anymore?

      I… don’t know. But please don’t misgender cis people. It just makes it harder to convince them that misgendering is wrong if you also do it. The trans community is more vulnerable to misgendering than the bigots, so if we start doing it to people we don’t like, then it becomes some sort of schoolyard insult revenge term where we as trans folk lose.

        • inb4_FoundTheVegan@lemmy.world
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          30 days ago

          I understand. Please don’t do that for the reasons I stated above. Purposely misgendering transphobes only encourages them to purposely misgender us.

        • Dragon Rider (drag)@lemmy.nz
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          30 days ago

          Lots of transphobic cis people are agender eggs who don’t care about being misgendered because they can’t be. If you teach them what being misgendered feels like, they might decide it didn’t feel bad for them, so it must not feel bad for out trans people either. That’s teaching the wrong lesson.