I can’t seem to shake imposter syndrome or doubts about whether I’m “trans” or whether I’m a woman, etc.
Just wondering what you all do when you feel that way, if you have any recommendations?
It makes me feel awful, there is so much commitment to a transition it feels like you have to be certain, but I just don’t have constant certainty.
Sometimes I’ll sit down and try to analyze it objectively, basically considering the “null hypothecis” - if I am not trans, then I would be cis, if I were cis then a certain set of things would be true (like, estrogen would probably not feel so great, testosterone would not make me depressed, etc.).
I discussed this with my partner, this was a huge comment to unpack. And we agree that maybe you aren’t quite feeling doubts, but instead insecurity/imposter syndrome. And that is something I mean when I say I feel not like a woman some days, and in others that I don’t feel as pretty as I’d like. We have some extra baggage having come from a testosterone heavy past and we experience the same insecurities a cis person would experience with that added.
That said in the social aspect I receive a lot of affirmation, and I honestly don’t even try to pass. I struggle but honestly I have to recognize that most of my battles are between me and my mirror, colored by thoughts of my pre-transition self.