I don’t reply a lot, but your comment hits home for me, so:
That’s a bummer. No, Buddhism doesn’t have to do that, but there are a lot of ways to do buddhism, many branches/sects, a lot of people doing it wrong, overdoing it, doing it as obsessively as they did guitar etc. (raises hand)… It’s sad that it’s hard to find good role models in buddhism in the west, so we’re stuck sometimes trying to weed out the good/pure from the narcissistic youtubers. But as a fellow introvert who has done and still does a lot of things obsessively (including guitar, cycling, third wave coffee brewing/roasting, and meditation), my feel is: buddhism doesn’t require you to give up those things. It changes your clingy relationship to them, which may decrease your interest… for example, I realized I don’t want to be a rockstar, which was this big painful want for me (I had to practice every day and GET GOOD and find a band or else), and that changed my relationship with guitar. I still absolutely love playing, and practicing, but it’s a more relaxed love, not this painful drive to get this “thing.” You start to see the dreamlike quality of the “fictional” life you’re living, that it’s made up of concepts that we project from our own minds. But: you still want it to be a good dream, so you still do fun stuff! I love my friends and family, love jamming with my buds, love riding outside… but I’m able to see a little better now (than say 10 years ago) when that painful craving kicks in… so, same stuff, different relationship. More relaxed. At its best, more like a lucid dream than an anxiety dream.
However, at various points on my journey I’ve been accused by those close to me (well, my partner) of getting too into it. There may have been times where I was gung ho about meditating, and could’ve been ready to throw away old hobbies in the name of “spirituality.”. so I get that…
To answer your question, I don’t think buddhism makes you a zombie who finds everything meh because it doesn’t matter. If you’re trying too hard, you might unnecessarily eschew parts of your former life, but that’s not necessary for the path (unless you’re doing the whole monk thing… in which case, just go be a monk). Quite the contrary, life gets easier because you can pick up a hobby without the painful baggage of identifying with “I am this big coffee nerd now!” or whatever, and… just kinda enjoy it more. I’m not great at explaining it, I realize, hahaha. :)
I guess, feel free to PM me if you want to get more specific. I’m curious what sort of meditation your friend does. But I also don’t want to intervene… I am no expert.
I don’t reply a lot, but your comment hits home for me, so: That’s a bummer. No, Buddhism doesn’t have to do that, but there are a lot of ways to do buddhism, many branches/sects, a lot of people doing it wrong, overdoing it, doing it as obsessively as they did guitar etc. (raises hand)… It’s sad that it’s hard to find good role models in buddhism in the west, so we’re stuck sometimes trying to weed out the good/pure from the narcissistic youtubers. But as a fellow introvert who has done and still does a lot of things obsessively (including guitar, cycling, third wave coffee brewing/roasting, and meditation), my feel is: buddhism doesn’t require you to give up those things. It changes your clingy relationship to them, which may decrease your interest… for example, I realized I don’t want to be a rockstar, which was this big painful want for me (I had to practice every day and GET GOOD and find a band or else), and that changed my relationship with guitar. I still absolutely love playing, and practicing, but it’s a more relaxed love, not this painful drive to get this “thing.” You start to see the dreamlike quality of the “fictional” life you’re living, that it’s made up of concepts that we project from our own minds. But: you still want it to be a good dream, so you still do fun stuff! I love my friends and family, love jamming with my buds, love riding outside… but I’m able to see a little better now (than say 10 years ago) when that painful craving kicks in… so, same stuff, different relationship. More relaxed. At its best, more like a lucid dream than an anxiety dream.
However, at various points on my journey I’ve been accused by those close to me (well, my partner) of getting too into it. There may have been times where I was gung ho about meditating, and could’ve been ready to throw away old hobbies in the name of “spirituality.”. so I get that… To answer your question, I don’t think buddhism makes you a zombie who finds everything meh because it doesn’t matter. If you’re trying too hard, you might unnecessarily eschew parts of your former life, but that’s not necessary for the path (unless you’re doing the whole monk thing… in which case, just go be a monk). Quite the contrary, life gets easier because you can pick up a hobby without the painful baggage of identifying with “I am this big coffee nerd now!” or whatever, and… just kinda enjoy it more. I’m not great at explaining it, I realize, hahaha. :)
I guess, feel free to PM me if you want to get more specific. I’m curious what sort of meditation your friend does. But I also don’t want to intervene… I am no expert.