I’ve often pondered about how Vulcans view gender and sexuality.
I think pre-Surak/logic, they may have demonstrated homophobia and transphobia, but modern Vulcan Society would probably be chill with it under the reasoning that discrimination would reduce a person’s efficacy as a functional member of Vulcan Society. For instance, given a choice between allowing a person to contribute verses driving them to the brink of suicide, Vulcans would probably tend to lean towards the first option.
There could very well still be stigma (Vulcans are far from a perfect society; some may have views that it is illogical to have a romantic relationship without a child), but it’s dampened by the logic from the previous paragraph.
There’s also the Pon Farr to keep in mind. Not only would it be hard to fight a person in the Ponn Farr, but also you’d literally be killing them by trying to prevent expression of their orientation.
Fair enough.
There are certainly aspects of desire that can be viewed as non-emotional. Not even just in sexual desire, but in general. Like, “I want a cookie” doesn’t have to be an emotionally driven sentiment. Having want/desire does not necessarily mean an emotional drive for that thing.
Also, there are many ways to miss someone. If I were separated from my partner for a long period of time, her presence would be missed. Beyond the obvious physical intimacy, having someone around to talk with that I trust and value the opinion of; and someone I can share humerus stories with, or memes/quips that I heard or made. Or simply the knowledge of having them near in case I need assistance in any capacity. It’s a comfort.
There’s more to it than just intimacy, and emotion; though, being an inherently emotional human, I recognise those aspects in myself as well.
I admire the Vulcans. I think they’re on to something.