How do I alleviate bitterness due to lack of intimacy? - eviltoast

I have given up trying to find a girlfriend. Even though, I am outgoing, have hobbies (I dance, which is actually filled with women), go to parties, talk to plenty of women. But I keep hearing the same thing over and over again: “I am just not so into skinny guys.”

I think this is fair from the woman’s perspective. I for one am only motivated to date attractive women. So, them not wanting to settle for less actually makes very good sense to me. There is absolutely no hate or bitterness regarding that. Fuck all that: ‘all women are whores’-noise.

That being said, I think I should just consider myself celibate by virtue of my own standards. But now bitterness is starting to take hold of me. Bitterness about my life and to me as a person. As I said I am very outgoing and don’t want to become the cynical asshole around my friends.

So how do I stop this?

Edit: I go to the gym on a regular basis.

  • RBWells@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    This helps. First, I think work on your own self confidence. A dancer’s build is an ideal body type for a whole bunch of people. If you feel like more definition in your arms would help YOU (I don’t think it’s the sticking point looks wise but might help you see your own hotness), do push ups, and weighted squats and lunges will help with the dancing, skinny is the easiest body type to get into shape, such a small adjustment.

    On the flirting, yes obvious is good, and funny, remember you are just practicing here and enjoy yourself. Subtle is likely to be missed.

    On your actual question, I am older so have been through dry spells and remember feeling frustrated way more than bitter. Build a good life you enjoy, and it may be attractive to others, or perhaps not, but either way you will have a good time. I don’t mean there aren’t external forces, but your own attitude and actions are what you have the most control over.