Oh, where do I even begin with the dumpster fire that is Star Wars?

Let’s just face the facts: Star Wars is nothing but a glorified space soap opera with the most boring plotlines imaginable.

I mean, how many times can you watch a bunch of guys waving glow sticks around, pretending to be all mystical and important?

It’s like the writers were high on something and thought,

“Hey, let’s make this as nonsensical and repetitive as possible!”

And don’t even get me started on the fanbase. Talk about a bunch of overgrown toddlers!

These are the same people who dress up in bathrobes and have lightsaber battles in their mom’s basement.

They treat George Lucas like he’s some kind of god, even though he couldn’t write his way out of a paper bag.

“But the original trilogy was groundbreaking!” they cry. Yeah, groundbreaking in putting people to sleep.

So, here’s to you, Star Wars fans.

Keep on debating the intricacies of your beloved galaxy far, far away while the rest of us live in the real world.

May the Force be forever irrelevant.