I feel hopeless - eviltoast

Edit: I was as to negotiate with the ones organizing the meeting to schedule for another day. I may have been panicked because I stopped Prozac for a while. I’m really sorry for lashing out like that, and thank you for your understanding.

I’m trying to get my diagnosis. Due to my parents not accepting me receiving mental healthcare, I had to do everything in secret.

It made my life so much easier when I finally got Prozac. I could finally sleep. Little to no obsessions or intrusive thoughts. I also stopped having pica.

But I can’t get a diagnosis in most places without involving my parents. Until I found someone who could give me one.

Thing is, if I miss tomorrow’s appointment, I can no longer have another chance at it. The health system is clogged and all.

I had everything planned out. Told them I was going out and all. But now, I can’t, because our basement got flooded and I have to stay in order to help them.

I know this is what I get for wanting the best of two worlds: my parents’ support and getting behind their backs. But I just didn’t want to keep suffering anymore. I just want it all to stop.

  • Binette@lemmy.mlOP
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    3 months ago

    I am 19 years old.

    I understand how the flood thing doesn’t make much sense, but I can’t get out. If do something that is wrong to them, I have high chances of getting kicked out. Paired with my inability to get a hold of how things work and be more independent, this would just end up in a slow suicide.

    I’m old enough to not need my parents consent, but they have to know everything. If there’s something I don’t want to talk to them about, they will take great offense to that, and that might result in me getting ostracized, or kicked out.

    I know there are other opportunities, but for some reason, it doesn’t feel like it. I never should’ve stopped Prozac to save a couple bucks lmao.

    • radicalautonomy@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      Oh well shit then, just don’t tell them anything about anything. Make an excuse to leave the basement nonsense (which isn’t your responsibility because you didn’t cause it, I assume), go get tested, receive your diagnosis, get you medications, and don’t say a fucking thing to your parents. Make a plan to get out on your own and live your own life. It’s brutal out here, but we’re free.

      • Binette@lemmy.mlOP
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        3 months ago

        I don’t know what kind of excuse I can make. They really like to say that some things have to be done now, even though that isn’t the case. It has ruined several of my actual outings to the point that my friends no longer trust me to respect my word on when I’ll show up. They don’t want me out? I don’t get to go out. And that’s usually the end of it. Or we argue, and the result is still the same.

        • valkyrie@lemmy.ml
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          3 months ago

          Maybe you can say you promised a friend you would help them with something important and it will only take an hour or two.

    • NegativeInf@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      On a scale of 0-10, how religious are these parents of yours?

      I’ve been in similar positions in my life, mostly because of religious parents, and while I don’t recommend you do anything to get yourself kicked out, I would absolutely say, if they aren’t taking care of you, you need to take care of you. And getting a diagnosis and medication is a good start.

      • Binette@lemmy.mlOP
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        3 months ago

        They aren’t even religious? This is quite confusing to explain. They do not follow religion, but they usually have philosophies that issue from them (anti lgbt, pro natalism, ablism, etc.). That might be because their family was religious. Kinda like those who don’t practice religion but for some reason, apply it to guide them on what to do. Idk how to explain better.

        I really do want to get better, but I’m terrified.

        • NegativeInf@lemmy.world
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          3 months ago

          I get that. My dad is Catholic and very into it. My mother is a non-practicing “protestant” , but has some crazy beliefs about medication, abortion, and ghosts. Except for when she needed a shitload of meds to get pregnant the 4th time.

          My ADHD, autistic, gay, emo, depressed ass did everything I could to be better, and at 20, I just moved out without telling them. And now the guilt they feel because I only talk to them twice a year max is it’s own reward.

          If I may ask, what country/region are you in?

          • Binette@lemmy.mlOP
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            3 months ago

            Haha I get it! My mom told me to not use too many meds because “I might get addicted” when I was just taking naproxen for my debilitating period cramps. It caused me unnecessary and avoidable pain.

            I’m from Canada, Quebec.