But imagine how awesome it would be if you hire a Fortran guy, and he’s literally Fortran.

Little Fortran walks into the living room.

“Mom, dad. I have something important I need to tell you, but I’m scared you’ll be mad at me”

“We’ll still love you no matter what honey.”

“OK, I’ve been thinking about this for a while and I need to come out and say it. Mom and dad, I’m a frontend developer”

“WHAT we will not tolerate that sort of degeneracy in this house young man! Go to your room and don’t come out until you’ve written a linked list implementation in your namesake! And no more talk of this front end stuff”

My parents called me Basic.

Yk, you can make fun of old programming languages but the average job offer with one of them is.

Needs to know fortran/cobol

Pay: 8000€/month + benefits and unlimited sick days

Compared to the average web dev job offer:

Needs to know react, redux, angular, PHP (for managing legacy codebases) with 5+ years of experience, needs to be affluent in at least 3 languages and must have a master’s degree in computer science.

Pay: 1500€/month

I’m naming my kid machine code.

I named my daughter Rubyonrails

We call her “On” for short

JavaScript was actually invented in 1845 by John JavaScript

Cody C. Sharpe

My son is also named Fortran.

We need more “Fortran” license plates in the gift shop.

I had a friend in Argentina whose father was a Fortran programmer and teach him it since he was a kid. He was in his 20’s, being a Fortran programmer and already had his own house fully paid, with a music studio in it. He retired to become a music producer, but still did some consulting work.

Good luck little Fortran, hope you can learn and enjoy your work.

Assigned System/370 Operator At Birth

You know what, if I have a boy one day, I’ll name him Pascal. Hopefully, he won’t develop a lisp

Tailor Swift

Ash comes from a busybox… sh…

Well in Poland we have so many girls named “Julia”, so you know…

Maybe it’s time to go to the court house and change their name to Lua?