New Helicopter Parent Drone Takes Overbearing Parenting to New Heights - eviltoast

This week, a groundbreaking advancement in drone technology has overbearing parents nationwide sighing in relief and children hiding in terror. Drone manufacturer HoverHawk released their latest product: the Helicopter Parent, a drone designed to provide around-the-clock, relentless supervision of your soon to be traumatized children.

The Helicopter Parent, a sleek black quadcopter, comes equipped with the latest in surveillance technology, including 4K cameras, facial recognition, and a megaphone for issuing real-time scoldings from your smartphone.

The new drone can hover silently or employ a “gentle hum” setting for those who prefer a more constant, oppressive presence, also features thermal imaging for night-time monitoring and a proximity alert system that sounds an alarm if a child steps outside a designated area, such as their front yard, school, or out of arm’s reach of a parent.

Read the rest of the satire news article here at TattletaleTimes.com

  • JoanCandy@lemmy.worldEnglish
    24·
    4 months ago

    The new drone can hover silently or employ a “gentle hum” setting for those who prefer a more constant, oppressive presence

    sign me up 😆

      • Snowclone@lemmy.worldEnglish
        11·
        4 months ago

        Adam Sandler cartoon movie on Netflix, he plays a lizard that thinks he’s going to die do to the life expectancy of his species according to something he reads, and he’s taken to kid’s homes on weekends they present problems to him and he solves them from his observations over the 50 years he’s been in a classroom, usually through a song, one of the kid’s has a drone that follows him everywhere and he REALLY hates it, he also has very overbearing parents. Leo has him write a ‘dear John’ letter to break up with the drone. Which does solve the problem.

        Anyway. I have small children who love the movie. I’ve seen it 10+ times, and to be totally honest, it’s probably one of the best comedies Sandler has put out in a long time. Bill Bur plays a turtle in the same tank with Leo, and the movie has a lot of very decently funny songs, not musically decent necessarily, but lyrically funny.

        • Tattletale Times@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
          7·
          4 months ago

          oo gotcha I saw that around but haven’t seen it. I have 2 little ones as well so we’ll check it out together. Also, gotta love Bill Burr.

          ya the article idea isn’t anything unique as i’m sure nearly everyone has made the connection between drones and helicopter parents but hopefully the contents of my article are unique and funny!