When a parent or guardian we trust beats or causes serious violence upon us: how and why do we "love" them going forward? - eviltoast

I should clarify about the love part.

I would equate it to Stockholm Syndrome. I guess its like pets. They don’t have anywhere else to turn :(

Edit: fawning is probably the closest to the answer I was looking for

  • treefrog@lemm.ee
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    5 months ago

    Yeah it’s really effective. And becomes a practice in its own right of self-care. It’s also one of the modalities MAPS is using in MDMA treatment protocols.

    There’s parallels in my Buddhist practice. Which is in the plum village tradition. Thich Nhat Hanh uses language like embracing the anger with your mindfulness and holding it like a mother would hold a crying infant. So, while the technical language is different it can be very similar to the IFS process and the two help inform each other for me. Compassionate inquiry is another one I’ve heard of but not studied. Which also has strong parallels.

    Sometimes I catch myself just holding space while two parts have a loving conversation with each other. Which is a nice change from always being at war with myself.