I’m still pretty early on in my HRT journey at just under 5 weeks of estradiol IM injections and Spironolactone.
One thing that I kind of was expecting but still took me by surprise was the depth of my emotions increasing.
I kept reading about “a larger range of emotional responses” but feeling it is a whole new world! I feel like my emotions have so much more texture and nuance that I pick up on. I can feel them shift from sadness to anger to determination to whatever so quickly and so intuitively.
Before I started E, the best way I can describe how my emotional state behaved was like these blurry blobs of feelings that were difficult to distinguish or identify. Everything swirled around me without me being able to fully experience them. Now they are a part of me and I would never go back ❤️
I stink now. Wasn’t expecting it to happen so soon (bout two and a half months low dose) Have to change my boxers more often than I used to and shower more (the horror). I smell more sour.
T made me more emotionally stable. I’m way less depressed than I used to be despite not changing much about my life. I used to wake up and the default would be sad, now I wake up and feel neutral (not in a numb antidepressant way, just in a normal way) most days. Worked way better than any antidepressant I’ve been on. Wasn’t expecting that to happen. I’ve heard people say they’re happier on T. Feels like I’m on default mode nowadays. Never felt that way before.
Occasionally I’ll have dreams of… anger? I’ll be asleep dreaming and feel angry, then when I wake up I’ll be normal again.
Also I’ve been getting more bloated after eating or drinking anything. Apparently T can increase water retention.
Starting Estrogen had the same effect on depression for me, I’m finally looking to actually get off them! Also, very unexpectedly, I’ve apparently started emoting more and putting more expression into my voice. I’ve always spoke with a monotone, so I was very surprised at the development.
Also yeah guys are sweaty and stinky lol
One thing that really wowed me was that my sense of smell changed a lot over time! Now, I can barely stand the smell of the garbage sometimes.
I’m generally more in touch with my thoughts, less quick to anger or grow irritated, and it’s easier to moderate frustration when it grows overwhelming.
Also I cry a lot more. A LOT more.
That got me too! I used to have a terrible sense of smell. Never understood why people said flowers smelled nice because I could never smell them. Few weeks into HRT and my wife gets me roses for Valentine’s Day. I could smell them through out the house 🥰
I had previously undiagnosed BPD that went buck fucking wild. Not trying to scare you, but I want you to be prepared.
I would recommend checking into your family/gene donors history for any mental illness, especially those that are more common with women (BPD, in my case) and discuss with your therapist and support network.
For transmasc, check the history of men in your family/gene donors.
realizing my mother was diagnosed with BPD and I strongly suspect both of my sisters to have it as well
If it helps, I feel like if I had seen it coming I could have mitigated most of the fallout, and I’m in a much better place now that I’m past the worst of it.
If you have any questions, I’d be happy to try to answer them~
it’s been many years since i started, but i don’t think anyone told me beforehand that my BO would change so drastically.
Could you expand on that? In what way(s) did it change?
Amab enby here, taking E but no anti-androgen. The changes were noticable in the first week, but I don’t have the words… they should have sent a poet. XD
Like, how does one even describe girlsmell? I’ve always appreciated natural body odors in that all-too-brief period between the fading scent of their last shower and the sour tang of going too long without, but language never seems to do justice to something so fundamental…
Anyways, I caught the first hint of changes to my scent within a few days of starting on E. There was just enough girlsmell on me to trigger a memory of one of my partners and I took note of it immediately. That new part of my scent picked up while my boysmell gradually toned down over the next couple of months, though it is still present 'cause of the lack of anti-androgens. So I’ve ended up with a mix of both that I’ve decided to call enbysmell. I’ve also found that my body odor doesn’t build up as quickly as it used to, absent exercise.
You can take E without anti-androgens? I thought E always had to be paired with some sort of T-blocker. How has your body and mind responded to it so far?
I’m asking mainly because I really want to have more feminine features, but there are still some masc features I want to keep that taking T-blockers would get rid of (my functionality down there, for example). So the thought of going on HRT makes me apprehensive. But if I could keep them, I would feel a lot more comfortable moving forward.
This also has me wondering if I’m trans or more likely enby/genderfluid.Yeah! Estradiol Monotherapy was actually the original form of feminizing HRT before they realized that binary trans women need an anti-androgen to reduce testosterone levels.
I’m also taking Finasteride, which blocks the effects of testosterone on hair follicles, and between the two medications I’m getting almost all the androgynizing effects I want with very few downsides~
The physical effects have been wonderful, my skin is soft now, I’m almost up to an A-cup, and my body odor has changed to the point that I can’t tell my sex by scent alone. My sexual functionality is mostly unimpeded, though it does take a little longer to develop an erection and I’m sure my sperm count is abysmal. My hair has stopped falling out from the androgenic alopecia, and my body hair is growing in slower and more fine. And aside from a tiny degree of thinning, my villainous moustache is unaffected!
For the mental effects, I’m much more in-tune with my emotions and my libido is less insistent but still as strong as ever. It’s more subtle than I was expecting, most likely because I still have testosterone levels in the low end of typical male normality. Feminine orgasms weren’t new to me, I learned how to cum like a girl before I started my transition, but they’re easier to reach and can be much more intense now.
Please do ask if you’re curious about anything! Amab enbies who seek a hormonal transition are the rarest category of trans people but we do exist!
HOLY SHIT THE DROPSIES
One of the side effects of feminizing HRT is smoother skin, which is terrific. HOWEVER, be prepared for your fingertips to lose basically all their spidey-esque gripping power. Prepare for the butteriest of butter fingers. You will be dropping shit ALL THE TIME. Boxes that you used to be able to just grab the sides of to carry around? That life is OVER HONEY.
I’ve gotten used to having work gloves to wear when I’m doing anything physical.
Wooow I never made that connection!!
Indeed I have been frustrated for years over my sudden propensity for dropping things. I think there has also been a change in coordination/spatial awareness for me.
I wonder if this also factors into the increased difficulty of opening lids? No matter how much force I apply, I can’t move them without adding a grippy texture.
Thats sound very terrific said like this 😅😅,
I have unfortunately to consider that 😥😭😭
My work is manual, and passions of the moment too 🙃🙃
Oh,if you’re anything like me, you neednt worry. The amount of times I’ve cut, sliced, or knicked my already large-ish hands (both from manual labor as a teen, and my hobbies now)… I wish my hands were changing at all… They’re more like lumps of charcoal than buttered noodles.
