God is a chef apparently - eviltoast

Props to liliarelyssk

  • NegativeLookBehind@kbin.social
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    81
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    1 year ago

    Sometimes the waiter murders innocent people because they didn’t accept the cook as the one true cook.

    Order the chicken nuggets again, louder, or prepare to die

    • 30p87@feddit.de
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      20
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      1 year ago

      You’d be thrown out if you’d try to enter the kitchen for hygiene reasons, but yes.

      • FiveMacs@lemmy.ca
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        12
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        1 year ago

        Hygiene reasons…LOL they wouldn’t kick you out for that reason at all. No one would mention it but those that think kitchens are spotless germ free zones, which they are not

        • harmonea@kbin.social
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          14
          arrow-down
          8
          ·
          edit-2
          1 year ago

          If you can’t fathom the idea of relying on an “easy out” like hygiene when the actual answer is “I just don’t want people back here, there’s a reason none of us even considered a FOH job” you might be the kind of person who gets told convenient lies routinely.

          (See how unnecessary that added personal attack was? Yours was too. Let’s make lemmy/kbin a nicer place to be than the alternative, okay?)

    • AstralWeekends@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      1 year ago

      For all I know, the food coming out of the kitchen is being prepared by an automated assembly line maintained by robots and a group of cosmic turtles. Is that God? Some might say so… 🐢

  • paddirn@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    31
    ·
    1 year ago

    And all the waiters are working off of different menus, they can’t even agree which menu is the correct one or which meals this restaurant even serves. Sometimes the waiters even get into fights with each other.

    • Master@lemmy.ca
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      9
      ·
      1 year ago

      And if you order the wrong thing or you are a woman ordering for yourself some of the waiters stone you to death…

  • Texas_Hangover@lemm.ee
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    25
    ·
    1 year ago

    If the order is completely fucked up, it’s part of some “plan” and you should be happy for the vile overcooked tofu they slapped down in front of you.

  • S_204@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    17
    ·
    1 year ago

    Missed the part about taking your money, at the risk of public humiliation and ostracization if you don’t comply.

  • ThatWeirdGuy1001@sh.itjust.works
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    18
    arrow-down
    6
    ·
    1 year ago

    Nah my favorite thing to ask them is if they have any dead relatives and they say yes I just say “damn bro should’ve prayed harder sounds like it’s your fault”

  • FordBeeblebrox@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    8
    ·
    1 year ago

    The waiter brings you a bill and demands you pay and order again, then an hour later just brings you another bill and you keep paying forever but the sky cake never shows up on the table.

  • Danc4498@lemmy.ml
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    7
    ·
    1 year ago

    Either way it’s a dumb analogy. So the chef is god cause he cooks the food? Well guess what, the chef didn’t grow the vegetables or raise the cows for the meal. He got them from somewhere else. So if you believe god created everything, you have to ask what created god.

  • CarlsIII@kbin.social
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    5
    ·
    1 year ago

    As there are schools that train you to be a chef, clearly there are also schools that train you to be a god.

  • jaschen@lemm.ee
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    4
    ·
    1 year ago

    Most of the time the restaurant makes you pay ahead of time without giving you food and blames you for not paying more money.

  • CarlsIII@kbin.social
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    3
    ·
    1 year ago

    As there are schools that train you to be a chef, clearly there are also schools that train you to be a god.

  • rgb3x3@beehaw.org
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    3
    ·
    1 year ago

    I can get up from my table and walk to the kitchen to meet the chef.

    Where can I walk to find God? Oh, I can’t meet him? And nobody can? Until they die? Then I don’t care who you say he is.