[META] Help! - eviltoast

Hi everyone,

News is weird. When it’s weird enough, it reads like articles from The Onion, and that’s what we’re all about. But as the community grows, there’s more and more content being posted here that just isn’t very Onion-y.

Jimmy Carter Becomes Second President Convicted Of Felony For Sticking Up Waffle House

Take a look at that headline from The Onion today. Or this one:

World Series Of Poker Entrants Play One Hand Face-Up So Everyone Can Learn Rules

Or this one:

New Hormone-Free IUD Wards Off Sperm With Steady Emission Of Police-Grade Pepper Spray

That’s the flavor we’re going for. We want real, credible news articles with headlines that read like they’re from The Onion.

This is not the community for:

  • Non-Onion-y political news (it’s gotta be absurd enough to look Onion-y)
  • Non-Onion-y regular news (it’s gotta be absurd enough to look Onion-y)
  • Satire (it’s gotta be actual news)
  • Fake news from fly-by-night “news” sites (again, it’s gotta be actual news)

That means not every ridiculous thing a politician does qualifies as appropriate content here.

I need your help, though… I need people to report content that just isn’t Onion-y, and I need people to try not to post non-Onion-y content in the first place.

Finally, I need help moderating, so this is also a formal call for new mods! Post below if you think you’re ready to take on moderation for one of the larger Lemmy communities! Tell me why you’d like to mod, and link to a news story from any time (it doesn’t have to be current) that has a properly Onion-y headline, to show that you really get this community.

I’ll pick two people to become new moderators for the community from participants. Good luck!

  • FlightyPenguin@lemmy.world
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    6 months ago

    Biden doesn’t generally say the quiet part out loud, so that’s the joke. The specificity of the Florida law is what’s funny, not the fact that they make backwards, misogynist laws. The briefcase is also too on the nose. We know they bribe people, but that headline is slapstick comedy.

    It’s a fine line, admittedly, but those headlines do read like jokes to me.

      • FlightyPenguin@lemmy.world
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        6 months ago

        Expectation: “Biden funds Israeli war efforts” The subversion is that the Onion title reads between the lines, ignoring normal journalistic nothing-speak to say the quiet part out loud. These each hint at a bit of actual truth, but rather than simply being outlandish (which is our current baseline), these Onion titles all add something to name it now ridiculous. A bribe in child snacks? The bribe is what’s expected. The snacks are the unexpected, making the whole thing funny.

        • jeffw@lemmy.world
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          5 months ago

          Subvert expectations /= saying something unexpected. If your point is the Onion has unexpected takes, then I’ll buy that.

          • FlightyPenguin@lemmy.world
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            5 months ago

            It means that there’s an expected setup, then a twist. Trump’ sons engaged in bribery? Check. It’s easy to believe. The subversion happens when we get to the method of payment. We expected unmarked bills or a fraudulent wire transfer, but we got children’s snacks, which reframes the whole situation as if they’re two kids in a trenchcoat.

            If you remember Rudy Giuliani giving a speech at a landscaping company parking lot, you may remember hilarious news titles referencing the Four Seasons. They were particularly Onion-y, because we expected Rudy Giuliani to spew lies at a press conference, which often happens in hotel conference centers. The Four Seasons hotel would be a reasonable place for the whole thing to go down. He probably announced the location, then found out he couldn’t book the hall. Making lies about the election in the Four Seasons Landscaping parking lot across from a sex toy store? Hilarious. It sounds like comedy, but it’s reality.