I don’t mostly because I have a ‘replays in the middle of the night’ memory of using it in conversation with a black woman & she let me know exactly how it made her feel. Idk sometimes offense isn’t about history it’s just about how the random person next to you feels & the phrase isn’t so important to me that I can’t express the same thing in different words.
I’m struggling to think of a situation where I’d say that to a black woman but I can see how in hindsight it wouldn’t be the best turn of phrase. Obviously we should be aware of what we’re saying to an audience, but at face value it’s not a racist phrase and the lady was wrong to shame you for it.
It was during a class discussion, definetly thoughtless on my part. She didnt shame me, just explained how she felt about it. It was an english course so exploring the connotations of language was pretty typical.
I think of it as a moment that really thought me about the complexities of every day language & the impact of cultural tropes (like the light good, dark bad concept).
Idk lol I’m not trying to change your mind, I think you can use the phrase & will probably never get any push back for it. I guess this is mostly an explination why I used that example in the way above comment. For me, it’s a charged phrase that can be percieved as derogatory.
Definetly your choice to make.
I don’t mostly because I have a ‘replays in the middle of the night’ memory of using it in conversation with a black woman & she let me know exactly how it made her feel. Idk sometimes offense isn’t about history it’s just about how the random person next to you feels & the phrase isn’t so important to me that I can’t express the same thing in different words.
I’m struggling to think of a situation where I’d say that to a black woman but I can see how in hindsight it wouldn’t be the best turn of phrase. Obviously we should be aware of what we’re saying to an audience, but at face value it’s not a racist phrase and the lady was wrong to shame you for it.
It was during a class discussion, definetly thoughtless on my part. She didnt shame me, just explained how she felt about it. It was an english course so exploring the connotations of language was pretty typical.
I think of it as a moment that really thought me about the complexities of every day language & the impact of cultural tropes (like the light good, dark bad concept).
Idk lol I’m not trying to change your mind, I think you can use the phrase & will probably never get any push back for it. I guess this is mostly an explination why I used that example in the way above comment. For me, it’s a charged phrase that can be percieved as derogatory.