WHAT THE HELL AM I??? - eviltoast

So I thought I had figured myself till now. But I was clearly wrong…

So the last few days have been incredibly confusing as I reflected on my gender identity. I’m definitely a boy, that’s for sure. I wouldn’t want to go by any pronouns except he/him. The they/she stuff simply isn’t me.

I don’t want to dress up in a feminine manner (I don’t think I would be comfortable in skirts and thigh highs and what not…). Like… I haven’t tried that yet, but I really doubt I would be much interested in it. I like my current wardrobe.

HOWEVER, I want a feminine-ish body. Like… not boobs or anything. I find boobs quite repulsive. BUT I would definitely love to have a more feminine butt/dick. I like tucking, WHILE loving my dick.

I hate body hair/facial hair. The only place that I like hair on is my head. And while my hair is long-ish, it isn’t girl-like long. Like… the intention is not to look like a girl.

I dunno, it’s weird I suppose… Here’s one way to put it. If estrogen didn’t give me boobs, I would LOVE to take it. I would love to have a higher voice, better head-hair, and a girlier butt and dick. BUT I would still identify as a male while being in male-like clothes.

What the hell am I? I’m definitely not trans. I don’t think I’m a femboy, as I would hate doing makeup/wearing skirts n stuff. I’m so confused.

Oh, and I’m gay if that’s relevant.

  • Paraponera_clavata@lemmy.worldEnglish
    4·
    7 months ago

    Sounds like you’re a regular person with thoughts and preferences for how your body looks, like all people. Don’t think it’s about being trans, sorry to disappoint. Just my 2 cents though.

    • UraniumBlazer@lemm.eeOPEnglish
      1·
      7 months ago

      Oh yeah, I’m definitely not trans for sure. About the rest, I dunno… Like… Do my male friends think stuff like this too?

      • snooggums@midwest.socialEnglish
        1·
        7 months ago

        Some might, others don’t. The important thing is that with the billions of people on the planet there are plenty of other people who do.

        You are not alone.

        • snooggums@midwest.socialEnglish
          1·
          7 months ago

          Cis guys are taught to be uncomfortable with feminine things.

          Glam rock is a blatant example that men can be feminine and over the top masculine at the same time.

  • kittenzrulz123@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
    2·
    7 months ago

    You might be non-binary, keep in mind you can still use he/him while being non-binary. Gender has no rules, be whoever you want and use whatever pronouns feel best.

    • UraniumBlazer@lemm.eeOPEnglish
      1·
      7 months ago

      Wow, I wasn’t aware of this!!! That sounds liberating honestly… I’m definitely gonna be exploring what being nb means now…