The Perception Paradox: Men Who Hate Feminists Think Feminists Hate Men - eviltoast
  • Zloubida@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    Yeah, but no. To refuse the term feminism is like to say “white lives matter too”. Of course men deserve rights, and of course white lives matter too. But white people and men don’t need to fight for themselves.

    • exocrinous@startrek.website
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      7 months ago

      Swing and a miss, mate. Many people who have a problem with the name feminism are nonbinary people, who want equality but have been excluded from the movement by enbyphobic women, AKA TERFs. While there are lots of feminists who say feminism also means uplifting enbies, some enbies feel misgendered by this terminology, and reality is nonetheless more complicated. But your comment reducing every opponent of the term to male privilege is perfectly symbolic of the nonbinary exclusionism practiced by many who use the term feminism, and demonstrates exactly why some nonbinary people have a problem.

      • spaduf@slrpnk.netOPM
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        7 months ago

        Swing and a miss, mate. Many people who have a problem with the name feminism are nonbinary people, who want equality but have been excluded from the movement by enbyphobic women, AKA TERFs.

        I’m not sure the mere existence of TERFs has led to any significant movement to rename feminism among the NB community.

        • exocrinous@startrek.website
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          7 months ago

          It’s a complicated issue. I’m being a bit reductive when I say every enbyphobic feminist is a terf. There’s lots of people who think of themselves as trans allies, but still don’t believe in genderfluidity, xenogenders, or two-spirit. They think they’re allies of nonbinary people, because they simply choose not to believe in the nonbinary people they exclude and oppress. Does that make them TERFs? It’s complicated.

          We haven’t assembled into a movement about this because it’s not that big a deal, and we have more pressing problems like impending genocide. We can’t waste time organising about a word. But on a personal level, the word still makes us uncomfortable. When we’re told feminism is for nonbinary people, some of us feel like we’re being called female. Misgendered. But if feminism isn’t for nonbinary people, well that’s a bigger problem.

          https://reductress.com/post/4-inclusive-statements-that-arent-women-and-non-binary-people-i-consider-women/

          • spaduf@slrpnk.netOPM
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            7 months ago

            The debate around terminology for spaces intended for women (and the tendency for folks to make nebulous assertions about the inclusion of NBs) seems to me to be an entirely separate issue.

            Fundamentally, I see what you’re saying but I’d like to push back on the idea that the term “feminism” needs rethinking at this point in time.

            I’d even go so far as to say the parent comment where a rejection of the term feminism is portrayed as tantamount to “all lives matter” is more correct than the idea that “feminism” is a poor term because it feels like misgendering. This is a space centered around the idea that feminism is good for men because feminism is not a term that should leave you feeling gendered in it’s primary usage.

            • exocrinous@startrek.website
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              7 months ago

              At this point in time I tend to take terms like “intersectional feminist” to mean someone is probably an ally, but if someone just calls themself a feminist without any adjectives, that gives me absolutely zero information as to whether they’re interested in gender equality for all gender identities. I know they support cis women, but I have no idea whether they support any kind of trans person.

              • spaduf@slrpnk.netOPM
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                7 months ago

                Throwing out feminism because it does not essentialise trans and NB rights feels like very poor praxis. From the perspective of one individual assessing the views of another, I don’t disagree with your metric, but I disagree with your application of the ideas to the broader movement. Particularly in so far as it grants to right wingers that feminism is a sexist term.

                • exocrinous@startrek.website
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                  7 months ago

                  Well this is a debate about prescriptivism vs descriptivism, right? I’m saying the complexities of the ways the word is used no longer make its meaning clear unless certain adjectives are applied. You’re arguing we should stick to the “intended” meaning. But at what point does denying the evolution of language to become more transphobic deny the genuine harms suffered by trans people? Surely there’s a point where that’s the case, right? How do you know we haven’t reached that point?

                  • spaduf@slrpnk.netOPM
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                    7 months ago

                    Well this is a debate about prescriptivism vs descriptivism, right?

                    No I don’t think so.

                    You’re arguing we should stick to the “intended” meaning. But at what point does denying the evolution of language to become more transphobic deny the genuine harms suffered by trans people?

                    I’m arguing that your particular claimed usage of feminism as a transphobic term (that is, the general inclusion of NBs as a class for whom feminism benefits is tantamount to gendering them female) simply doesn’t hold up to scrutiny. This is distinct from the issue of women’s spaces explicitly including NBs feels like misgendering (which is valid).

                    The premise of this community is fundamentally dependent on the idea that being a beneficiary of feminism MUST be entirely seperate from being gendered female.