The thing is, there are people just like you that are romantically compatible with you. While you’re mostly correct that a “normal (whatever that is), healthy, emotional secure person” will likely not date you, plenty that are similar to you will, because they’re facing the same dilemma as you.

What I’m saying is, maybe you’re looking for the wrong people. Love from a non-normal, non-healthy, non-emotionally secure person is just as much love and as amazing as love from any other person.

And you might even grow through that love, or you both will.