How do you work with the social life in college and not feel worth less than others? - eviltoast

Hey y’all,

I’m a 19 year old psychology student in college (with the goal of becoming a therapist) and have been diagnosed last summer with autism (low support needs).

I think the fact that so many of my peers go to parties, drink and have fun, while it is too overstimulating for me, feels really bad. I can’t go to a party without earplugs, beer tastes awful to me (and coffee as well - way too intense for my taste), as soon as there’s blood in a movie I feel unconformable, and it just feels that everyone is able to do thing easily which for me are a real struggle.

I’m in a relationship, and my gf seems to be able to do all these things easier than me. Asides from the fact that she also has better grades than me, I just feel resentment and sadness that people around me seem to better than me in so many aspects. Of course we should focus on our strengths, and that we shouldn’t compare ourselves to others. But in the end I still feel resentment that people around me are just able to do so many more things than me, and that things considered normal in our society are a struggle, if not outright impossible, for autistic people.

So I’d love some input on how y’all cope with the reality of not being able to participate in social life to the same extent as other people.

Thanks!

  • greencactus@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
    3·
    7 months ago

    Thank you for your comment - I think for me your words resonate very deeply. I also come from a rural province, where I was one of the best in my class. Psychology in Germany is very competitive to enter into, and I’m in one of the most competitive psychology colleges out there; basically there are only the best of the best. So of course there will be people who are better than me in many areas, and I’m not really at the top of hierarchies - which is also kinda to be expected.

    I haven’t thought that I can use this fact to my advantage in the way you described however. This is a very interesting thought… It reminds me a bit of advise from Epictetus, that life is a carriage: you can either let it drag you, or walk with it. There are people around me who are better than me; there’s nothing I can really do to change it. What I can change, however, is my outlook: instead of that dragging me down, I can use it to uplift me.

    I really appreciate your comment. I will need to think about it, but I haven’t thought that I can use comparison to my advantage. It is something I’ll meditate upon. Sincerely thank you!