How do I stop wanting to be on a relationship? - eviltoast

It’s not that I can’t. The problem is that when I’m with someone, I deeply yearn to be alone. I’d love to have my life for myself, with no responsibility with no one else - just me.

But then, when I’m alone, I feel like a failure, like I need a relationship to feel complete, and I fucking hate that. So I end up in another relationship, and after two years I can’t stand it anymore, and the cycle repeats.

What the hell. Has anyone suffered from something like that? How can you be alone and not feel lonely? How to kill this need to be with someone?

EDIT: Thanks for all the answers, I’m taking every single one into consideration. Please, keep them coming.

  • morphballganon@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    Sounds like you do want to be with someone; you just have a habit of getting with people who aren’t a good match for you.

    I’ve had partners that made me feel like how you describe being with someone. My current partner does not make me feel like that.

    • Smoogs@lemmy.world
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      7 months ago

      Sounds like what the op is trying to say is they just want to examine their own feelings a bit. Maybe it’s not about ‘fit’ but about personal growth.