How do I stop wanting to be on a relationship? - eviltoast

It’s not that I can’t. The problem is that when I’m with someone, I deeply yearn to be alone. I’d love to have my life for myself, with no responsibility with no one else - just me.

But then, when I’m alone, I feel like a failure, like I need a relationship to feel complete, and I fucking hate that. So I end up in another relationship, and after two years I can’t stand it anymore, and the cycle repeats.

What the hell. Has anyone suffered from something like that? How can you be alone and not feel lonely? How to kill this need to be with someone?

EDIT: Thanks for all the answers, I’m taking every single one into consideration. Please, keep them coming.

  • Stefen Auris@pawb.social
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    7 months ago

    It sounds to me that you need to learn to love yourself first, so you feel comfortable being single until you find the right person.

    They say you have to be able to love yourself before you can love someone else

    • Tiger Jerusalem@lemmy.worldOP
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      7 months ago

      This is definitely an issue, I do have low self-esteem and getting older is not helping my case. Everything physical is getting harder to do and taking a toll both physical and mentally, which is a tough pill to swallow because I was always very active. Getting old sucks.