there's a reason it's "hard out there" you know (OC) - eviltoast

This comment section: “Actually I’m pretty sure the bike fell over for reasons unrelated to the stick”

  • krashmo@lemmy.world
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    8 months ago

    That’s a very dismissive attitude as well. I’ve never listened to Jordan Peterson or any of these other people but I totally get why some people do and this conversation is a great illustration as to why. The person you responded to was trying to have a discussion about the issues men face in society, in a thread about that topic, and your response to them could easily be interpreted as “shut up idiot those aren’t real problems”. I don’t think you necessarily intended to convey that message but you definitely ignored the larger point they were making in favor of a short and dismissive quip that was only tangentially related to what they said.

    There are a bunch of examples of things like this happening in society, especially to white men. I can feel people reading that statement thinking “white men don’t have problems” and that right there is the issue. Of course they have problems, society just doesn’t want to hear about them. They’re focused on other things instead, often for good reasons, but ignoring people when they talk about their problems while preaching open-mindedness and tolerance doesn’t exactly help the group you’re ignoring to embrace those ideals. They’re going to gravitate towards people who listen to them and at this point in time the people who listen them are telling them things that you don’t agree with. If you actually care about fixing that problem then the least you can do is commiserate with them when they complain about their problems. You already go out of your way to do it for everyone else so it should be easy.

    • snooggums@midwest.social
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      8 months ago

      Where did I say that they don’t have problems? I didn’t mean to convey that, which is why I didn’t say anything of the sort.

      It is possible to call out shitty behavior without dismissing the existence of problems.

      • krashmo@lemmy.world
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        8 months ago

        You didn’t explicitly state it you implied it by ignoring almost everything the guy you responded to said. Again, I don’t think you meant to come off that way but that’s what happens when you pick one small part of a large post to respond to and do so using negative and corrective language. You imply the rest was received in an equally negative fashion but was even less worthy of response.

        • snooggums@midwest.social
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          8 months ago

          No, you inferred something I neither said nor implied based on your assumption that not mentioning the irrelevant part of their post meant something.

          • krashmo@lemmy.world
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            8 months ago

            You’re still doing it. What you’re calling the irrelevant part of the post was more than 90% of it. You chose not to address any of it and to act pretty condescending in your reply. Now I’m telling you how some people are going to interpret that and you’re refusing to acknowledge it as a valid interpretation. I don’t give a shit if you accept what I’m telling you or not but at this point you can’t say you’re unaware that you’re coming off like an asshole. Do with that information whatever you like.

            • snooggums@midwest.social
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              8 months ago

              I don’t really care if you think I’m an asshole for not wasting time on the part of the post I agree with that wasn’t the part being discussed. Maybe you should go back and read the conversation again and engage with what I wrote instead of what you assumed I meant.