there's a reason it's "hard out there" you know (OC) - eviltoast

This comment section: “Actually I’m pretty sure the bike fell over for reasons unrelated to the stick”

  • partial_accumen@lemmy.world
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    8 months ago

    I don’t have time at the moment for the whole 1h and 30 min, but I listened to the first 7 min and saw the topic titles for the remaining. So far its pretty agreeable ideas (Each person is responsible for their own happiness. Its not ‘owed’ to you by someone else. Seeking pure external validation is a path to ruin.) However, so far this doesn’t support the idea posted before of “young men are victims” yet. I will listen to the rest though before passing judgment.

      • Jax@sh.itjust.works
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        8 months ago

        They’re fixating more on the “man” part than the “loneliness” part.

        • partial_accumen@lemmy.world
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          8 months ago

          I am, because many of the worst arguments I’ve seen revolve around men believe they are entitled to the affections of others no matter how toxic their own personality is. I want to make sure @PP_BOY_@lemmy.world 's argument isn’t that.

            • partial_accumen@lemmy.world
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              8 months ago

              Loneliness ≠ not getting affection.

              I completely agree, however some people make that mistake. I wanted to make sure that wasn’t what we were talking about here.

              • Jax@sh.itjust.works
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                8 months ago

                I think the fact that you’re instantly declaring that this needs to be addressed indicates a clear bias. You can determine bias through discourse, there is quite literally no need for adversarial behavior (which is exactly what you’ve exhibited, similarly to what I’m exhibiting now).

                Young men are lonely and suffering, with millenials many of those young men are becoming middle aged men. That statement will never imply that young men, old men, men period are deserving of affection simply for being.

                Furthermore, people like you are a big part of the reason men have a difficult time conducting reasonable discourse on these topics. You like to act as if you’re arguing in good faith but the reality is you’re just as prejudiced as the next bigot.

                • partial_accumen@lemmy.world
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                  8 months ago

                  I think the fact that you’re instantly declaring that this needs to be addressed indicates a clear bias.

                  Of course I’m biased. Everyone is biased in some direction at some level. I’m even waving giant flags saying I have bias, but that I’m interested in having my positions challenged because if I’m wrong, I want to be corrected, but that requires exchange of facts and ideas. I’m completely transparent about that. Are you claiming to be 100% impartial?

                  You can determine bias through discourse, there is quite literally no need for adversarial behavior

                  I’ve asked people to explain their positions instead of making assumptions about them and putting words in their mouths. I don’t know any other way to give those I’m talking to any more benefit of doubt or clear space to make their positions known. I have been trying very hard to avoid adversarial behavior. I’ve been met by almost nothing but adversarial responses, strawmanning, and posters making nefarious assumptions about my motives. Look at your own post. I agreed with your assertion that Loneliness ≠ not getting affection, and for that agreement with you you respond to me with vitriol.

                  Furthermore, people like you are a big part of the reason men have a difficult time conducting reasonable discourse on these topics.

                  I have not yet seen one reply to my posts that is offering ideas about a pathway to address these issues with young men. Its as though discourse has stopped simply at “awareness”, which I acknowledge is important, but zero pathways for the young men experience where to go afterward at an individual level. I’m discussing with reasonable discourse. I welcome you to join the conversation on the subject in your following reply about how these young men can be helped going forward.

                  You like to act as if you’re arguing in good faith but the reality is you’re just as prejudiced as the next bigot.

                  There is an enormous amount of irony in your accusations of me when the one of the perspectives I’ve been introducing to this conversation has been attempting to show that others have experienced much of the same issues, and it looks like you’re handwaving all of that away. Women have faced some of this already, and you call me a bigot for pointing that out. Should I then accuse you of misogyny as you have accused me of bigotry? Is it possible your experience is so poisoned you can’t recognize my own personal acknowledgements about my imperfections I bring and my engagement good faith discussion?

                  If you’re interested in discussing the topic, I’m still open to it. If you just want to exchange barbs, that doesn’t help either of us or the young men in question. What’s your choice?

      • partial_accumen@lemmy.world
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        8 months ago

        Why do you need to assign victimhood

        I’m not doing that. @PP_BOY_@lemmy.world is. I generally disagree with that idea, but before I pass judgment I’m willing to listen to arguments. Thats exactly what I’m doing. Listening to arguments.

        Why are you so quick to judgment when you don’t know what people think or believe?