I don't understand why I can't be blunt. - eviltoast

lemmy deleted my completely finished post right before posting so let’s try this again. I find it so annoying that I have to sugarcoat everything. I feel like I’m coddling people. I understand being polite to strangers, but it’s so annoying when my family, who knows I’m autistic, gets upset at my bluntness. I’ve explained multiple times that I’m not trying to be rude and I’m just trying to communicate in a way that works for me, but it doesn’t work. I just don’t understand why I have to say “hey, would you mind not letting the dogs tangle? thank you:)” in some high pitched voice when I could just say, “can you not let the dogs tangle?” in a tone that conveys I’m serious. it’s so much easier when intentions are simply stated.

edit: I’m having trouble posting comments but thank you for all your responses! it’s helping me see things a bit easier, and I definitely have things I can work on now :)

another edit for clarity: my family and I have talked about my communication style. I’ve tried to find ways to meet them in the middle, as I want a compromise. they’ve been unsuccessful but I’m continuing to try. I want to be at a point where it’s not stressful and exhausting to talk to my family. this was more of just a vent post, as I was feeling really annoyed.

  • lemminer@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Does this only happens with autistic? Does that make me an autistic too?

    I from time to time have no control over my tone, but I usually mean no harm, and the whole situation blunders up.

    • Ratboy@lemmy.ml
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      1 year ago

      Experiencing one symptom of autism does not make you autistic.

      I’d suggest exploring Embrace Autism and take some of the tests if you suspect that you might be. That would be a good jumping off point.