Fellow auties, which do you find is a better and healthier fit for you: dating another autistic person or an NT? - eviltoast

I’m really confused about this. On one hand (✋), I can see how dating an autistic person would be amazing because we would just understand each other on another level. We would get each other’s emotions, meltdowns, joy, special interests, hyperfocus, communication style, etc. Also, there’s no NT partner to miss whatever NT thing we don’t bring to the relationship.

On the other hand (🤚), we definitely have some deficiencies that NTs don’t. Having an NT can help us regulate, keep us updated on social matters that we completely miss, take care of a baby that’s wailing crying, and other strengths that we just don’t have, while at the same time, we contribute with our own strengths that they don’t have.

NTs, please feel free to contribute! Your opinion and experiences are important too 🙂

I’d love to see a discussion on this topic. So what do you think?

  • TeckFire@lemmy.world
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    8 months ago

    I married my wife and later we were talking (she knew I was autistic and she has ADHD) and realized she’s probably on the spectrum too, just in different ways than I

    To be honest, it works out well, since our characteristics are complementary. Whether that’s down to being neurodivergent or not, I can’t say.

    My ex I dated for 5 years before that had ADHD too, now that I think about it…. And my best friend realized he’s autistic last year, and we’ve been friends over a decade… Maybe neurodivergent attracts neurodivergent?