Fellow auties, which do you find is a better and healthier fit for you: dating another autistic person or an NT? - eviltoast

I’m really confused about this. On one hand (✋), I can see how dating an autistic person would be amazing because we would just understand each other on another level. We would get each other’s emotions, meltdowns, joy, special interests, hyperfocus, communication style, etc. Also, there’s no NT partner to miss whatever NT thing we don’t bring to the relationship.

On the other hand (🤚), we definitely have some deficiencies that NTs don’t. Having an NT can help us regulate, keep us updated on social matters that we completely miss, take care of a baby that’s wailing crying, and other strengths that we just don’t have, while at the same time, we contribute with our own strengths that they don’t have.

NTs, please feel free to contribute! Your opinion and experiences are important too 🙂

I’d love to see a discussion on this topic. So what do you think?

  • bionicjoey@lemmy.ca
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    8 months ago

    I just recently got my first gf, and she’s NT (or at least, she’s not Autistic; I think she may be undiagnosed ADHD). Finding an NT who was accepting of me was difficult, but I think it was the better option. I was definitely open to the idea of dating another autist, but ultimately I tend to have kinda a low tolerance for the mannerisms of people who don’t mask as well as I do, so it would have to have been someone on the same exact part of the spectrum as me, which is hard to find.