Christian conservatives be like: - eviltoast
    • Vanon@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      “And children, if you don’t believe me, underground scary man will also nail you to one and torture you down there for eternity.”

    • pete_the_cat@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      Yeah, there’s some really fucked up stuff in The Bible, but Christians treat it like it’s a bedtime story.

      • Captain_Waffles@lemmy.world
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        9 months ago

        Yep. Like literally. I had a “bedtime Bible stories for kids” book. Nothing like a nice story about planet wide genocide to help your kid fall asleep.

        • pete_the_cat@lemmy.world
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          9 months ago

          "… And Captain Waffles, that was how God cleansed the planet of evildoers because they wouldn’t listen to him! Tomorrow I’ll tell you the story of Cain and Abel! If you’re a really good boy/girl I’ll even tell you the story about how God convinced Abraham to kill his son, Isaac!

          Now say your prayers so you don’t burn in hell with the sinners when you die. Sweet dreams!"