What are some humorous quotes/life advice that would be funny to see embroidered on a throw pillow? - eviltoast

I’ve been wanting to get some humorous quotes embroidered on my throw pillows, and I’ve only got a short list so far. It’s easiest and cheapest to get them all done at once, so I’m trying to come up with a list of about 10-15 to select from before I send them off. Ideally, they’d be vaguely “life advice” but that’s not a hard requirement. If you remember the Demotivational Posters from years ago, think “Demotivational Throw Pillows” to get an idea of what I have in mind.

Current list / examples:

  • “The truth is usually just an excuse for a lack of imagination” - Garak, DS9
  • “There are no bad ideas; just great ideas that go horribly wrong” - Jack Donaghy, 30 Rock
  • “Never go with a hippie to a second location” - Jack Donaghy, 30 Rock

Obviously, they should be fairly short to be able to fit in the available space and shouldn’t be vulgar.

Let’s hear your suggestions, and hopefully they make the cut and provide for some fun ice breakers/conversation pieces.

As suggested by a commenter, here’s the original joke pillow that inspired me:

“Ambition is the willingness to kill the things you love and eat them in order to stay alive”

Haven’t you ever read my throw pillow?!

  • wjrii@kbin.social
    12·
    9 months ago

    Jack Donaghy could supply your entire inventory, and I feel you should figure out a way to get the first part of your gif included.

    “Ambition is the willingness to kill the things you love and eat them in order to stay alive. Haven’t you ever read my throw pillow?”

      • Admiral Patrick@dubvee.orgOPEnglish
        2·
        9 months ago

        You joke, but I’m seriously considering painting my home office whatever the closest match is to “elk tongue” and filling it with paintings of horses.

    • Admiral Patrick@dubvee.orgOPEnglish
      2·
      9 months ago

      Donaghy did supply the bulk of the list before I decided to diversify and trimmed it down to those two. lol.

      Yarn is pretty annoying in that it both has exactly the quote I’m looking for but also never the full context. I’ll add Donaghy’s pillow to the post as an example, though.