People who had a quarter-life crisis in their 20's, did you do right to stress? - eviltoast

Without going into too much detail…

  • 21
  • Dropped out of Uni (ie. I’ve started falling behind ‘the pack’)
  • Still living with my parents (have lived alone for periods)
  • Frustrated, have been repeating the same mistakes and life is currently going in a loop.
  • Not fully settled on a specific career
  • Thinking of a couple of nuclear options I could try to move things on.

I want to know if I have reason to stress or if I should just give it time and enjoy the ride. Seeing as any sort of renewed degree-pursuing will eat up another several years starting anew from square one.

Edit: Thanks for all of this life advice everyone. It is genuinely really reassuring

  • Saigonauticon@voltage.vnEnglish
    151·
    10 months ago

    Haha, yeah…

    I did the classic overachiever route and finished my thesis pretty fast, focused on a specific career. Then still ended up with a shitty full-time job, so took on three more jobs and started a nonprofit. All that still got me exactly nowhere. I was ridiculously stressed. One time I didn’t sleep for 3 days and had to check in to the hospital.

    Hopefully this offers some comfort. The things you consider mistakes, are the things I wish I had done. Even spending more time with my parents. So perhaps nothing is so serious :)

    My “nuclear option” was immigration. I sold everything and (just barely) got a business license in the developing world. I’m basically Ozymandias from watchmen, but less fit and I don’t own tights. Also none of my friends are blue. Splicing genes and splitting atoms, I will admit to though.

    Anyway the point is, what matters is what happens next. I don’t recommend immigrating to the developing world (it’s acutely distressing), but it’s surprising how much we can influence the outcomes of our lives if we radically commit to a course of action. If the exact details of your course of action aren’t optimal (or even borderline insane), I think that’s OK, it’s being radically committed to improving your future that matters. The context isn’t exactly irrelevant, but I think it’s secondary.

    So no need to stress. Better to spend that energy doing. Anything reasonable will do. Start a side hustle, learn programming, design websites, learn to do taxes for yourself and others. Degrees are OK but I don’t value them any more personally. Get used to starting at square one over and over – it’s a good habit and you will eventually know how to do many things. People who can do many things are rare and valuable.