TIL about Earl Silverman, a domestic abuse survivor who founded a shelter for men. It was denied funding from the government and he was ridiculed. The shelter went bankrupt and he died by suicide - eviltoast
  • A_Random_Idiot@lemmy.world
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    10 months ago

    That fact doesn’t prevent me from knowing that men are statistically more likely to be the aggressor

    Right there.

    He is a victim if abuse, and deserves support and understanding. He deserves to be heard without caveats. He shouldnt feel the need to have to basically hide his abuse by saying “Yeah, I was abused, but women have it so much worse” to avoid a deluge of critical comments and attacks. Which very often happens anytime a man is a victim of abuse and speaks out about it in any capacity.

    He deserves support, and understanding, and resources. Same with his father. Same with all victims of abuse.

    But men don’t have access to such things, because societal misandry on the topic means resources for men are downright nonexistent, because if a man tries to access currently available resources, they’ll be shut down and viewed as an abuser trying to get to vulnerable women, and anytime someone does try to provide resources for men separately, They are either attacked with dubious claims like trying to take resources away from women, or are just straight shut down and ridiculed.

    And statistics are only based on reported/known crimes. male victims of abuse, domestic or sexual, are far less likely to report due to the social stigmas associated with toxic ideas of what men should be.

    • Ifera@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      Thank you for saying this. It is the same when men get raped by other men. “It is male on male crime” is such a stupid take, it is blaming the person who got raped because of the gender they were born into.

    • ParsnipWitch@feddit.de
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      10 months ago

      There are resources and help for men. You aren’t helping anybody but sexist trolls by pretending they don’t exist. The only thing you are “achieving” is that some victims don’t even try to get help.

    • pinkdrunkenelephants@lemmy.cafe
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      10 months ago

      So you’re basically one of those sexist trolls who argue that men get abused too, therefore they couldn’t possibly be responsible for most of the abuse. And that women’s suffering is invalid.

      To solve the problem, we have to accept the facts and the fact is, despite the fact that men sometimes get abused, they’re the ones doing most of the abusing and therefore are the ones who need to be fixed. Deal with that fact.

      • havokdj@lemmy.world
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        10 months ago

        You’re fucking stupid lol, and people like you who put the label of sex in domestic violence + abuse can honestly go fuck themselves too.

        A N Y O N E is capable of violence. To lessen a HUMAN BEING’S suffering just because of their sex? THAT is sexism my friend, literally the definition right there. “Men need to be fixed” because about 14% more are abusers compared to women? Not accounting for rounding, margins of error, silent cases? Considering the fact that men are far more likely to stay quiet in cases like this because of the extreme stigma that people like YOU create in circumstances like this.

        Remember, YOU people brought sex into it. I don’t see male or female when I see someone suffering from domestic abuse, I see a victim!

        You don’t see “female victim” on the news when you see a woman getting in a car crash, you don’t see a “male victim” headline when a man gets murdered in a street, you see VICTIM. That’s because that’s what they are and that’s what’s important at the end of the day.

        • pinkdrunkenelephants@lemmy.cafe
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          10 months ago

          The statistics say men are responsible for most of the domestic violence, but good job proving you have a shitty sexist agenda by parroting what I was telling everyone else to benefit you, while rejecting the truth.

          The only ones who are going to suffer is… about a quarter of U.S. households, give or take

          • havokdj@lemmy.world
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            10 months ago

            Parroting what you said huh? Where did I repeat a single word you said?

            shitty sexist agenda

            That my friend, is what parroting actually is. You brought sex into it because you want to make a specific group of people’s suffering seem insignificant solely based on the genitals they were born with. That’s literally sexism. Victims are victims, giving a specific group special attention leads to ignorance of the other group, and especially considering that about 36% of domestic violence victims are indeed men, that is NOT something that can just be ignored. It is totally ironic that you are sitting here telling me that I have a sexist agenda when you are literally downplaying just how many domestic violence victims are men, solely based on the fact that they are men.

            rejecting the truth

            I need citations please, show me where I denied any fact based evidence you presented. I said men are victims in an estimated 36% of domestic violence cases, everything you just stated seems like it was an attempt to somehow “prove” that I said something other than what I said.

            Again, the very first sentence in my statement holds just as true as everything else I said, you are fucking STUPID.

        • pinkdrunkenelephants@lemmy.cafe
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          10 months ago

          And the slave racket keeps churning out more broken people while you squabble with me to try to be right about something.

          Is you arguing with me going to do anything to save any abuse victims? Any of the male ones who are clearly the only ones you give a fuck about? Hmm?

          • A_Random_Idiot@lemmy.world
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            10 months ago

            Oh damn, you got me. Yep. I only care about male victims

            He deserves support, and understanding, and resources. Same with his father. Same with all victims of abuse.

            edit I do want to thank pinkdrunkelephants@lemmy.cafe for being a shining, sterling example of exactly the kind of toxic people who creep up when you dare to talk about male victims though, and how they always try to twist the argument away from male victims.

            • Transporter Room 3@startrek.website
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              10 months ago

              The only male victim who I PERSONALLY know (not just know OF) who has spoken out about had his own family OPENLY mock him on Facebook, Several from our mutual text group make jokes about it until he left, I snapped at them and called them pieces of shit, kicked them all and disbanded the group.

              Most people simply believed he was lying.

              Some knew he wasn’t and mocked him for “letting himself get beaten by a woman”

              And every time I hear about people like this, I wish they never have to find out just how bigoted and wrong they are. Because the only way they’ll ever believe it is if it happens to them.

              • A_Random_Idiot@lemmy.world
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                10 months ago

                I’m sorry that he had such a shitty, miserable family. I hope hes doing okay now and hes found the people who give him the support he deserves

            • pinkdrunkenelephants@lemmy.cafe
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              10 months ago

              Actually yes, that’s literally exactly where you say you don’t actually give a fuck about female victims of abuse. Because you came into this thread with a chip on your shoulder about women, and the second you saw someone talk about female victims of abuse, you pounced.

              Because your dumb ass thinks talking about abuse happening to one group invalidates that of the other. Because to you, attention, sympathy and concern are a limited zero-sum source to squabble over.

              And you bat not a fucking eye when MRA trash goes into women’s abuse threads and cries that men get abused too, and get rebuked the way you try and fail to rebuke me.

              Because you are biased in favor of men at the expense of women.

              You’re the problem. Literally you