Not Sparks. - eviltoast
  • ilinamorato@lemmy.world
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    10 months ago

    Rey beats

    barely survives a battle with

    ren

    moments after he’s been shot by a wookiee bowcaster, which we’ve seen throw stormtroopers off their feet with massive gaping holes

    when she first picks up a lightsaber, after having no experience even with a sword.

    but extensive and demonstrated experience with a staff

    This is the same ren that was trained by Luke

    partially

    and then smoke

    who has no demonstrated skill with a lightsaber

    since birth, and should be all accounts be nearly the best duelist current alive.

    Which is your headcanon. It’s not supported or implied by the film. In fact, the fact that he his lightsaber is falling apart and running ragged would rather imply that he hasn’t focused much on dueling at all. But even if he is a grandmaster—I bet I could do pretty well against Michael Jordan one-on-one if he had a fresh two-inch bullet hole in his abdomen.

    They immediately turn ren into a joke by having poe be not even the slightest bit intimidated by an extremely powerful darksider who can melt your brain with the force.

    Which is so very unlike Han Solo, who is not even the slightest bit intimidated by Darth Vader’s interrogation of him in Cloud City.

    Their choreography was so bad they had to edit out a dagger mid fight or Rey would’ve died.

    Which is so very unlike A New Hope, which features a stormtrooper bonking his head on a door in what’s intended to be a serious moment of threat for the heroes.

    The dice are both real and not real moments apart.

    Which is so very unlike how Imperial troops don’t care about droids in the escape pod but tthen do care about droids in the escape pod moments apart.

    Hyperspace ramming.(is actually a thing, but also simply isn’t feasible)

    Hyperspace ramming is amazing and I will die on this hill. Have you seen the xkcd what-if about relativistic baseball? Heavy stuff goin fast makes big boom happen. Finn later says that it’s a one-in-a-million shot, so there’s no way that an understaffed organization like the Rebellion would’ve ever wasted people (even droids) or ships on something so unlikely to work before if there was any other option, and the Empire never needed to.

    Plus, the Supremacy had been tracking the Resistance through hyperspace, which means it had to have been slightly opaque to hyperspace to receive a signal, increasing the situationality of the Holdo Maneuver.

    Episode 8 was so bad I got turned off star wars for like 2 years,

    I was so thrilled that they decided to try some new stuff with TLJ that I became an instant Rian Johnson fan. I don’t think it all works perfectly, but so much of it would’ve been amazing if they had just stuck with it for episode 9.

    and I still won’t watch somehow palpatine returned" the movie

    I agree that it’s the weakest of the sequels. It might be the weakest of the nine, but that’s a toss-up with AOTC, and I’ll need a few more years to be able to make that assessment objectively.

    The bottom line for me is, there’s nothing in any of the ST that ruins it for me. The sequel trilogy is probably the weakest of the saga, but it’s still fine and I’m sticking with that assessment.

    • 1ostA5tro6yne@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      10 months ago

      FUCKING THANK YOU, there was nothing wrong with or continuity-breaking about the Holdo Maneuver, or most of the things in TLJ people love to bitch about (like Leia’s spacewalk which was pretty consistent with IRL zero-g physics and the character’s established force-sensitivity as well as being a breathtaking cinematic moment) are either conflicts with their personal headcanon (people really be getting mad about the fine points of high-dimensional travel in a cheesy movie franchise about mystical space wizards and writing essays about it and shit) or are not any worse than similar issues the OT itself (ESB has some serious issues with wonky timelines for example). The pacing isn’t great in places but nothing is so jarring as to interfere with my willing suspension of disbelief, and the story didn’t feel beat-for-beat the same as basically the rest of the franchise. TLJ was a breath of fresh air, it’s weird to me how divisive it is despite being one of the higher points in the franchise IMO.

      That said, AotC at least had the neat space-opera-noir thing for part of it where Obi-Wan was playing detective, I can’t think of anything redeeming about Rise of Skywalker.

      • ilinamorato@lemmy.world
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        10 months ago

        The pacing isn’t great in places but nothing is so jarring as to interfere with my willing suspension of disbelief, and the story didn’t feel beat-for-beat the same as basically the rest of the franchise.

        Yeah, that’s basically how I feel about it. TLJ was better than the other two sequels and at least one of the prequels if not more. It wasn’t amazing but I feel like I need to defend it with both hands the way people came after it lol

        AotC at least had the neat space-opera-noir thing for part of it where Obi-Wan was playing detective

        Yeah, that was pretty dope. And I guess the Battle of Geonosis was pretty cool. But while it had some cool moments, they weren’t very coherent.

        I can’t think of anything redeeming about Rise of Skywalker.

        It was a visually beautiful film. But that’s about the best I can say for it.