Suddenly the dog’s balls are back and the room is filled with bitches and biscuits.

me: [petting my dog] hey buddy you’ve got two wishes

dog: I wanna go to the lake!

me: but that’s what we do every after- no, wait!

genie: granted!

me at lake 45 mins ahead of schedule: buddy, you got to make this count. think about it fir-

dog: I want my other master here

wife: [appears] huh? wtf, I was just finishing up and going to head to you guys, why are we at the lake early?

“I wish for death to all cats and that literally the entire universe was bacon.” -Dog

“No! Not like that!” -Owner if they weren’t now bacon

Aww… :'(

My lil old lady would probably wish 1) to be young again and then 2) for me to throw the squeaky ball

Beef. Cheese.

“Sausage!.. squirrel!”

The genie should grant the guy two more wished for this.

PSA: never do this with a cat

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