The dating pool - eviltoast
  • Olhonestjim@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    5
    arrow-down
    2
    ·
    edit-2
    10 months ago

    Nope this is a list of all the men available, like she said. She’s painting all emotional men with the same brush. There are good men and bad men in each of those categories she listed, but she thinks we’re all bad.

    So I cry and need a hug sometimes? Emotional labor. I can describe the full range of emotions I feel to a partner and deal with them in a healthy way? Gross.

      • Olhonestjim@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        3
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        edit-2
        10 months ago

        I know who I am. I’m just reading what she said. That’s the dating pool.

        Let me ask you this:

        How could a decent man possibly respond to a post like that without being lumped into it, like you just did to me?

          • Olhonestjim@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            2
            arrow-down
            1
            ·
            edit-2
            10 months ago

            Yes, I suppose we could just become more silent and withdrawn, couldn’t we?

            Let me try a different tack. I know I have issues. I’ve been working on myself for years. As men, we mostly experience negative reinforcement with emotional growth.

            But if we are trying to get healthy, how are we supposed to respond to that kind of invalidating talk, inside our own heads? What if the woman saying that kind of stuff isn’t just venting her frustration onto the internet, what if she’s saying it to us, in a relationship? Does that kind of talk inspire us to improve or push us into darker places? Is complaining about us like this in any way helping to improve the way men and women interact?

            • 【J】【u】【s】【t】【Z】@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              4
              arrow-down
              2
              ·
              edit-2
              10 months ago

              Once again you’re making it the woman’s job to help you improve yourself. You’re going to see and hear things that put you in a dark place. That’s life. Bringing yourself back to a middle ground of contendedness requires constant self work.

              I’m sorry you have problems. Not everyone breaks the wheel.

              • Olhonestjim@lemmy.world
                link
                fedilink
                arrow-up
                1
                ·
                10 months ago

                Well I appreciate your input. I agree that it’s not a woman’s job to help us improve ourselves, but you haven’t convinced me that this sort of complaint benefits anyone.

                And no kidding. This is going to take a lifetime of work.