- cross-posted to:
- usnews@beehaw.org
- cross-posted to:
- usnews@beehaw.org
Three Jan. 6 suspects were arrested at a ranch in Florida on Saturday, the FBI said – including one who has been sought ever since the 2021 attack on the U.S. Capitol and two who never showed up for trial, court records show.
The FBI’s Tampa field office said three Jan. 6 fugitives – Jonathan Daniel Pollock, Olivia Michele Pollock and Joseph Daniel Hutchinson III – were taken into custody early Saturday morning, three years after the assault on the U.S. Capitol.
The FBI executed three federal arrest warrants at a ranch in Groveland, it said. No further details on their capture were available.
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Lol. One was a fugitive and the other two were out on bail with the condition that they don’t associate with the fugitive. Then one misses a hearing and all three get nabbed together. There goes that bail. Idiots.
These people aren’t criminal masterminds, or masterminds in general. They thought they were elite soldiers in a revolution led by a man who doesn’t understand how orange concealer works. They’ve fallen for a PT Barnum you’d order on Wish, and admitting that would be horribly embarrassing, so they have no choice but to double down.
The group of a couple thousand supporters he lobbed at the Capitol were made up of people those Nigerian prince emails were aimed at: they have typos on purpose to weed out anyone who would be smart enough to spot the grift. Of course they were dumb enough to livestream their crimes, and of course they’re dumb enough to out themselves in stupid ways.
That was the target demographic.
Dammit, a tripod is supposed to be the strongest.
Strongly stupid?
Joseph Hutchinson, 27, a co-defendant of the Pollocks who worked at their Lakeland, Florida, gun store, is wanted for assaulting officers and unlawful entry to the Capitol.
He is accused of throwing punches at police during the uprising and pleaded not guilty to the charges against him before absconding.
In December 2021, a judge allowed Hutchinson to travel to Florida to serve as the best man at the wedding of another person accused of being involved in the uprising.
So that idiot judge is getting punished for being an idiot right? I know they won’t, but fuck, what an idiot.
In December 2021, a judge allowed Hutchinson to travel to Florida to serve as the best man at the wedding of another person accused of being involved in the uprising.
$100 I can bet what political party this judge is.
But can you guess what religion carried out the wedding?
Church of the FSM?
Pretty sure they call it something different than I do.
Must have been Taoism, they have been too quite for too long.
If he was the best man, I’d hate to see the worst man at that wedding…
And here I am, enjoying my Sunday — not worried about the FBI hunting me :)
You should always be at least a little bit worried about the FBI hunting you. Granted, if you haven’t participated in an insurrection against the United States government the chances of them hunting you decrease substantially.
Of all the potential things that I have even the slightest reason to be worried about, this is still probably among the least.
I’m not worried at all. I’m such a vanishingly small fish, my chances of making their radar are at best 1%. Most of us just aren’t that important.
You know they are going to find out about those black market pandas you been moving eventually
The ones with kilos of cocaine up there butts?
Up where?
Don’t worry, you’ve done something that they’d arrest you for. Everyone has, that’s the game.
Lol. Did it take you long to learn how to put on the clown makeup?
What’s the term, is it ‘gaggle’?
A gaggle of terrorists… idk it fits but doesn’t sound quite right.
Well, let’s see.
It’s a gaggle of geese. Geese are major assholes, but I don’t think they’ve ever gone so far as to try to overthrow the government. So, I don’t think it should be gaggle.
Hmm…
Murder of crows
Kindness of ravens
I found this online, which suggests “explosion” for terrorists.
Explosion of terrorists.
I’d like to propose the following collective nouns
A group of Trump supporters:
Moron of Trump supporters
A group of insurrectionists:
Shitstain of insurrectionists
A covfefe of traitors.
Fun fact,… if you try to type out Confefe it autocorrects to ‘Confederate’.
That will depend on your OS, software and usage history.
Of course. I should have amended it to:
…In the OS Tromp was using when he ‘Confefe’d’, it autocorrects to ‘Confederate’ across the OS.
Even more so in the iOS version at the time. I’m not going to go back and emulate all that; ain’t nobody got time for that.
An Embarrassment of Trump supporters
It goes way beyond embarrassment.
One of them is an embarrassment, though.
A mortification of Trump supporters?
Definitely moving in the right direction! Perhaps… a Clusterfuck of Trump Supporters?
/thread
A Pride of Proud Boys
No. A Shame of Proud boys.
A suicide of terrorists.
This. I like this a lot. I’m stealing it and using it from now on. It’s mine.
Cell. It’s a terrorist cell.
That’s if.they are working together. If they are just together I think the collective noun is a herd.
A Bungle of Terrorrists
I think the obvious answer in this case is a bigly of MAGAssholes
No doubt going to get additional time now after this, and what a coincidence that they were apprehended on the 3yr anniversary of their crimes. Oh the irony!
They were probably out celebrating that Trump is going to pardon them for their convictions
Said they were on a ranch and the FBI got a tip. One guy had a $30K bounty on him.
Well I guess there is a price on loyalty and freedum…
Fuck em.
I bet there’s a lot of people who have spent the past two years looking over their shoulder after taking part. Tons of photos are still up of people who they’re after or want more info on
They must be able to track these people down if they really put the effort, they’re hardly criminal masterminds.
They probably have store cards and Facebook accounts. Some of these people immediately tried to get on aircraft after the riots, so we’re not dealing with great thinkers here.
They must be able to track these people down if they really put the effort, they’re hardly criminal masterminds.
No doubt many of them are still being monitored to see what other criminals they’re associating with and what other laws they’re breaking.
Whenever I hear about the attempts of these people to flee, it’s hilarious.
This trio picked the most comically obvious place to, “hide” next to maybe Missouri or Mississippi, that being Desantisland…
That brother/sister duo are probably procreating together. :/
They eluded arrest for 3 years. Dumb asses when it comes to falling for con men, but gotta give credit where credit is due.
Yes. Three years of sweet freedom stuck on a ranch in sweaty Florida always worried about getting arrested. Truly la dolce vita.
Definitely incestual
They look like hairy turds, lol
So much for the “master race”
I always think of this panel from Preacher when I see dudes like this.
God I love that book.
Hairy turds reminds me of this
Trash goes in the can. Better than what I’d give them.
I hope they are never allowed to own a gun again.
Love to see it
I mean, at this point is just another kind of natural selection
All we needed was one person to lace horse dewormer with cyanide…
mr agent, i am not gonna do it neither now neither in the future
that said, tho…
happy anniversary, guys!
Birds of a feather… get busted together.
