Printers - eviltoast

Throughout my life i have set up a multitude of different printers. None of them have been a pleasant experience. Why is this, and is there a printer that is actually good?

Order of priorities:

  1. Free/open software and hardware
  2. Available ink/toner and spares
  3. No connectivity “dumb as a rock”

Print quality really doesent matter unless it is really bad. Of course, im willing to make sacrifices on all of these points, but you get the gist.

Any suggestions for models that comes even close to any of these requirements?