Complete dorks and trans people everywhere are mourning the loss of their favorite operating systems after Elon Musk made his purchase of Linux official today. Users will still be able to use the current builds of their software but all future builds will need to purchase a license to operate as part of XOS, Musk’s new proprietary operating system. Musk hopes to “epicly troll” users by forcing them to either buy a Tesla or a license for the software.
Musk has been loudly proclaiming that the software “has always been for people like me,” though he won’t clarify the statement at all. FOSS activists have been outside X, formerly known as Twitter,'s headquarters since the decision was announced and onlookers describe the smell as ‘overwhelmingly putrid’, causing local authorities to block off the surrounding area and dispatch firefighting helicopters equipped with soapy water.
Musk has been trapped inside X, formerly known as Twitter, headquarters for nearly 72 hours now and plans to stay there for as long as he can but his food supplies are dwindling and he is becoming increasingly restless. He holds the one and only copy of the brand-new Closed Software License and is repeatedly reading it through a megaphone out of his window.
The activists, having prepared for that exact response, and put on beige raincoats that one can only assume were once yellow and inserted earbuds, beginning the second phase of the protest: a silent rave featuring the soundtracks of all 4 Matrix movies. Having been outsmarted, police were forced to leave the area and stand near the barricades wearing gas masks for their own safety.
This situation is developing, we will continue to update as more information becomes available.