whatever the hell Cyberpunk chemical compound this is

It’s literally just cultured animal cells, exactly the same material you consume when you eat ‘conventional’ meat.

calling it now, this shit is going to be linked to cancer and a ton of other health issues.

This you may actually be right about, but only because consuming animal meat has been strongly linked to elevated cancer risk. Your risk of getting cancer from eating lab grown meat will be higher, but only because it’s literally meat, and eating meat increases your cancer risk.