I don’t hate my dick. I derive a lot of pleasure from it. I really don’t experience dysphoria from having one, and in many ways I’m glad that I feel I can integrate my experience of womanhood with having a cock. And yet… I wish I had a pussy. I wish I could finger myself, I wish I could receive penetration vaginally. Yes I’ve tried anal, yes I’ve tried muffing. They don’t do anything for me. I wish I had access to the rich range of non-anal sex toys available to people who have a pussy.
But it also isn’t something that feels like a distressing yearning either? And having such a huge surgery which high risk of complication (I assume?) doesn’t feel proportionate or worth it, but I’m also unsure if this is just because the prospect feels so out of reach anyway it doesn’t even feel like an option. Because I’ll likely never have the money to do that anyway.
To make it worse, I’m chronically ill and very disabled. Signing up to that much (albiet short term) pain, and higher risk of complications with my heart and hEDS, it just makes it all so much more complicated.
Idk what I’m looking for out of this other than: does anyone else relate? lol
yeah i relate. girl, you don’t need a surgery to be yourself. don’t conform to gender stereotypes. if you want to be an unusual girl, be happy and don’t listen to people trying to reduce your degrees of freedom. at least that’s my approach.
after all the point of all this is to be happy, not to conform to yet another gender stereotype.
Fuck yeah. As a butch transfem, couldn’t agree more. I think for me the idea of surgery is less around conformity, and more around… Idk, the experience of having different genitals would definitely feel more in alignment. That being said, I’m also trying to find more ways to… idk, embody the “femminine” nature of having a girl dick too.