Ignorance or enlightenment? - eviltoast
    • Alivrah@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      That anyone would have an issue with a 23yo going out with a 20yo is so bonkers to me. And you? 2 consenting adults don’t need to justify their relationship or intimacy to anyone.

      • Igloojoe@lemm.ee
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        11 months ago

        If anyone was complaining to me about that age gap, i’d ignore anything they talked about forever.

      • Fredselfish@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        Nope my bother wife 9 years younger then him. And my dad was once married to a woman 20 years older then him.

        • Echo Dot@feddit.uk
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          11 months ago

          There was 25 years difference between my grandparents and no one ever thought that was a problem. It’s this new phenomenon that seems to have come about that people seem to think it’s an issue.

          If you’re 20 and dating a 10-year-old, that’s a problem (hopefully we all agree on that). But if you’re 30 and dating the 20-year-old, that’s fine. The age difference isn’t important. The age of the individuals is what matters.

              • Echo Dot@feddit.uk
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                11 months ago

                Yeah I looked it up and it stems from the French of all people, who you would have thought would have been perfectly fine with young love, but there we go. Maybe It comes from the puritan movement?

                Attributed to French author Max O’Rell in his 1901 “romantic guidebook” with the wildly unsexy title, Her Royal Highness Woman and His Majesty Cupid, the mathematical formula was O’Rell’s unofficial law re: romantic age gaps. According to his calculations, a bride’s ideal age was half the groom’s age plus seven years.

                So I think we can retire that one. Also notice the use of the word ideal age. It wasn’t a mathematical formula for calculating the youngest that it’s acceptable to date. It’s a mathematical formula to calculate the ideal age to date, presumably there is a lower lower bound.

                • Buddahriffic@lemmy.world
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                  11 months ago

                  That doesn’t sound like a puritan movement to me. “Ideal age” implies that you can err on either side and that it was recommending people target what many consider today the minimum.

                  I wish everyone who treated that formula as gospel knew its origins.

              • arin@lemmy.world
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                11 months ago

                Nerds who though a random simple formula is what makes something okay or gross

            • Echo Dot@feddit.uk
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              11 months ago

              I know that’s supposed to be a thing, but it doesn’t make sense since, what is actually morally wrong with the 35-year-old dating a 20-year-old?

              Everyone’s an adult in that scenario, no one’s taken advantage of anyone else.

              • morriscox@lemmy.world
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                11 months ago

                My father was 36 and my mom was 23 when they got married. Other than him being somewhat abusive it was an okay marriage.