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Okay so I’ve ranted before on the old DT about my boss and the blowups we’ve had earlier in the year. My annual review is supposed to be in 10 days. I’ve been thinking of how to approach it and negotiate pay vs hours etc and provide feedback on where things are going and what my role still is in the firm.
rant follows
Today I rock up, old mate is already in his classic bad mood, and after discussing the stuff we’re meant to be talking about (during which he is dismissive and presumptuous), I carefully bring up the topic of the annual review… and guess what…
I’m not even having one . Because he doesn’t want any more “unnecessarily difficult” conversations and he feels he’s spoken enough to me already. Oh, but his one bit of feedback is that I haven’t been bringing in enough invoices and it’s well below everyone else’s. And that’s it.
No option to defend myself, about how dealing with my mental health has been a huge time and money sink (I’m sure it would’ve been easier if I’d just broken my leg or got long Covid). Or how a lot of my time spent helping to manage and provide ongoing support to everyone else’s projects over the years has resulted in a permanent boost in capacity for everyone else. Or how his uninvolved “management’” is not sustainable with his expectations.
I’ve had an entire lifetime of undervaluing myself because I’ve been conditioned to stay in line - “you’re not good enough”. “People will never understand you so you need to shut up and comply”. “Stop resting on your laurels, you’ll just get lazy and complacent”. “It’s not that special, get over yourself, stop complaining and be grateful”, etc.
You know what? People in my industry - even from fucking overseas - have literally tracked me down online after coming across posts under a pseudonym with no link to my name, because they were impressed with what I’ve done in that sphere (almost all of which I’ve done on my own time and much of which has directly benefited business processes, with no prompting or guidance whatsoever) My boss even KNOWS this. Word has gotten to him!
But I almost felt like I couldn’t even enjoy the opportunity and positivity because it got rained on by someone who doesn’t even want to acknowledge the value I bring and can continue to bring - not as direct billing but as a multiplier for everyone else’s productivity - and happiness. (It’s just not his so who cares, right?)
Then he spent the rest of the morning being unreasonably pissed off at people who had made minor mistakes and blaming others for being passive when he’s the one refusing to take leadership and accountability for change HE wants to see.
By the way there’s nobody else in the office now and he was all alone and he was commenting on that too like others were being avoidant.
Well, my boss could be a lot worse and I remain very grateful that the business helped make my dreams of staying on in this country come true.
But if this is how it’s going to keep on going… If he’s willing to throw so much away just so he can huff around and stamp his foot when he’s feeling cranky, but also refuse to actually put his foot down when it comes to being decisive… and he refuses to see what’s going on and make changes or get help… then I’m not throwing good effort after bad.
I’ll still be reducing my hours pro rata once I figure out what the hell it is I am going to get paid. And that’ll help me stay on a bit longer.
But this is the fire under my arse I definitely will use to get me motivated to move the fuck on. No more ms. nice_kitten. Next opportunity I get, I’m gone. I don’t care if it’s well before the end of the year and it’s crunch time. I’m going where I’ll be appreciated - either in terms of support, genuine progression, or money.
Your boss sounds very emotionally immature I feel for ya.
It;s tough when people’s moods cloud the reality staring at them. It’s even more tough when that happens only some of the time.
Thanks man. I know there’s plenty of bosses like this and sometimes part of the job is to learn to manage your own boss and characters like that. But I sure as hell am not being paid enough to do that on top of my regular work. I’ve got way more interesting and worthwhile challenges I could be spending me time on
Or they know exactly how to screw with employees with low self esteem. Sometimes they know exactly what they’re doing.
You deserve better than this a**hole definitely gtfo there as soon as an opportunity arrives. My bosses are incompetent, but at least they’re nice people you can approach about anything.
Yeah I dunno if he is an asshole per se, he can be quite approachable in other ways and he is very competent at the consulting side of things. He’s just a shit manager and won’t acknowledge it
Ah yes, probably a bit harsh as I don’t know all the deets but yeah sounds like the management skills are lacking for sure
My sympathies. Sounds like many solo business owners I’ve had the displeasure to meet. If you aren’t being valued, you’re perfectly justified jumping ship.
He’s bitten off way more than he can chew but it’s his responsibility to manage that rather than get paggro with everyone else. It was alright until after Covid and it’s just escalated since then. I like small businesses much more than corporate but there are definitely challenges as well
I love that term ‘paggro’ - I’m gonna steal it :)
I’m sorry to hear what your boss has done to you today Kitten. His conduct is unbecoming and he doesn’t seem to see the good in what you do.
I hope you’ll be ok and that you’re able to sort things out for the better and for your own health and well-being.
Please look after yourself and let us know if we can help you with anything.
Thanks. I think now that I have options I feel much more empowered and I’m going to use this opportunity to start focusing my time and effort onto other endeavours. It’s looking upwards. I’ve got other help coming through on the medical front hopefully so that’ll be a relief
hugs, hope it all turns out good for you