Recently I have been struggling a little trying to accept and prepare for the consequences of coming out and exposing this very sensitive part of myself to the world. With the increase in hate crimes and anti-trans sentiment it is a very scary idea.
This was made even worse by a comment I found on Reddit today:
People ask why I bailed on transitioning. It’s not fun having your entire right to exist as a human being used as a political tool. It’s exhausting. I don’t want to have to spend my life justifying who I am to people who frankly don’t give a shit either way. They just want to hate me. 15 years ago nobody gave a toss which toilet I used in public. Today I’ll get spat on while waiting for a bus because I dared wear a dress. Not once in my life in this country till about 5 or 6 year ago did I ever feel scared for my safety for being who I am. I may be miserable now, but at least nobody is spitting on me anymore.
So I’d love to hear other’s perspectives on what they’ve actually experienced and how they have dealt with it. I am sorry for raising such a painful topic but hopefully it can help people.
I’m from a very red county in Utah, and I had a lot of those same fears when I started transitioning about 15 years ago. I wasn’t as worried about hate crimes back then, but honestly, even nowadays I still feel safe. I’m lucky enough that I’m able to live my life in a low-crime area though. My main worries are about closing opportunities and my life just becoming harder and more stressful.
So yeah, I still have some fear towards being authentic around certain people. I still boymode (as best I can with my appearance) when I’m around family and somewhat at work. But I’ve always known that the earlier a person starts HRT treatment, the more successful their transition would be. So I started taking HRT as soon as I knew how to get it, and I never stopped taking it because I knew I would regret letting my body masculinize even more. And honestly now, I’m confident enough in my transition and who I am, that it doesn’t really matter to me what pronouns people use for me or anything.
I would just say that there is no “right” way to transition, and you can transition in the aspects you want and feel safe with, and boymode in others that are risky or that are not that important to you. But I would caution you to not close future doors by detransitioning, if you know you are trans. I think things will get better with time.