WASHINGTON — U.S. Secretary of War Pete Hegseth announced that he is rolling out a new program to ensure that the military is at its “absolute best” by personally checking the erection strength of all servicemen over the age of thirty, according to confused sources within the Pentagon.
Instead of bouncing quarters off their beds…
next test he implements will be butt clinch strength. because we know butt clinch strenth has been declining in the male population because of all the gay frogs we keep shoving up our butts.
gotta keep those asses TIGHTLY CLOSED. gotta prevent those gay frogs from getting up in there boys!
“I’ve got a roll of quarters in my pocket. Let’s go see your bed.”