Let me set the stage: Newly single dad of a young kid. After COVID-19 I haven’t done much outside of my home and taking care of my kid. I work full time-remote, and between the kiddo and leaving room for a hobby or taking care of the house, it seems like the only other thing I have time for is sleep.
The thing I know is that this is likely an issue with my anxiety and anxious attachment. The conclusion we’ve arrived at in therapy is that I gotta meet people. I apparently forgot, or don’t know how to do that. Where to meet people. It’s not a big city, but 200k-300k people in the county.
Maybe I’m looking for something of a strategy more than anything.
edit: thank you guys, I really appreciate it!
What are your interests? There’s often a local group for any kind of activity, from Dungeons and Dragons to rock climbing.
The best thing about meeting people through shared interests is that it’s a huge ice breaker - you know there’s definitely something you’ll have in common and can talk about with people in the group.
There’s sites like MeetUp for finding local groups - even a walking group is still a great way to meet people and get some exercise. Also Bumble isn’t just a dating app but also a friend-making app (I think they call that feature BFF).
Check out this website too for finding similar apps and sites to the ones I’ve suggested above as you never know what site will be more popular in your local area.
Also, you mentioned you’ve got a kid. Depending on their age etc, you should try and get involved with any events or extra curricular activities they do as you meet other parents there and you’ll have something to talk about (your kids). Perhaps there’s some local clubs or activities your kid can join and you can talk to other adults there during pick up and drop off (turn up early - it’s a great way to bump into people).
Regarding my last suggestion, approach other parents with honest questions like “How is your kid finding [this activity]?” or “Sorry to bother you but you wouldn’t happen to know of any other good kids activities in the area / suggestions for fun weekend things to do or places to go with your kid?”.
Make sure you introduce yourself afterwards along the lines of “I’m so sorry, my name is [your name]. I’m so rusty with talking to adults outside of work. With work and the kid, I don’t talk to adults enough haha!”.
You’d be so surprised how many other parents are in the exact same boat as you - it’s really hard to meet people unless you put concerted effort into it.
Finally, start saying hi to people when you’re walking around your local area or browsing local stores and cafes etc. I always greet my neighbors when I’m out for a walk and whilst most times it’s just a nice “Morning” to one another as we keep the same pace and walk past each other but several neighbors have actually stopped to chat (they instigated after my friendly “Morning”) and now I’ve gained a few new friends only a few doors away.
Walk with a smile and with friendly posture (hands out of pockets and with a straight back and shoulders). You’ll be so surprised how effective presenting yourself as a kind and approachable person is in itself a huge ice breaker and other people will want to chalk up a conversation with you.
Hang in there. It all takes time but keeping the welcoming attitude about yourself, day after day, a few weeks of “Morning!”s can turn into conversations which can grow into friendships. I believe in you!
This is such a great comment! Love you positivity.
Thank you for saying that! Just trying to do my part and make Lemmy the warm and wholesome place Reddit was back in its heyday. We’re all humans, hurtling through space on our lonely rock. We’ve got to look out for each other as, unless you’re religious, no one or no thing else will.
Bumble has a friend specific app now, I saw it pop up as a suggested app on the play store recently. No idea how well it actually works though.