Image text: @agnieszkasshoes: “Part of what makes small talk so utterly debilitating for many of us who are neurodivergent is that having to smile and lie in answer to questions like, “how are you?” is exhausting to do even once, and society makes us do it countless times a day.”
@LuckyHarmsGG: “It’s not just the lie, it’s the energy it takes to suppress the impulse to answer honestly, analyze whether the other person wants the truth, realize they almost certainly don’t, and then have to make the DECISION to lie, every single time. Over and over. Decision fatigue is real”
@agnieszkasshoes: “Yes! The constant calculations are utterly exhausting - and all under the pressure of knowing that if you get it “wrong” you will be judged for it!”
My addition: For me, in addition to this, more specifically it’s the energy to pull up that info and analyze how I am. Like I don’t know the answer to that question and that’s why it’s so annoying. Now I need to analyze my day, decide what parts mean what to me and weigh the average basically, and then decide if that’s appropriate to share/if the person really wants to hear the truth of that, then pull up my files of pre-prepared phrases for the question that fits most closely with the truth since not answering truthfully is close to impossible for me.
https://www.instagram.com/p/CvPSP-2xU4h/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
That’s fine, who even simpler.
“I’ve been better, how are you?”
Honestly society has decided on this passing thing. I understand it makes you uncomfortable but unfortunately it’s just something you have to deal with.
My suggestions aren’t meant to be a perfect thing, they are just something to say that isn’t a lie and isn’t over sharing.
Beside that you just have to lie. “Fine, you?”. Or ignore it and move on to the topic you are taking to them about. Your suggestion is a good one, if you get to go first.
Personally I don’t want to live in an even less caring society, and this social question (even if shallow) is one scrap of connection.