I have not commented on the Palestine situation at all, anywhere on the internet, since the recent invasion started. I was originally hesitant to say anything because I am neither Israeli nor Palestinian, have no personal connections to anyone there, and have not done a ton of research into the politics in that region so I don’t consider myself qualified to speak on it. That is still true, but just reading the discussions taking place on Reddit and the more “mainstream” Lemmy instances, I also realized that there is basically no way that I can engage in a good faith debate with anyone there. Surprise surprise, the “tankies are all guilty of whataboutism and never address actual claims against governments they support” crowd has been unironically going “but Hamas!!!” to every single thing that has happened in the recent days and weeks. I’m not in a good mental health state (have never been in my whole life if I really think about it) and it’s getting to the point where even thinking of how to respond to various hot takes on various threads, and imagining the responses that my comments will get (which I do before commenting most things) has gotten me angry to the point where my hands literally shake and my heart goes so fast I can hear it through the arteries in my ears. Like genuinely physically angry and wanting to punch something, way more of an negative emotional reaction than any regular person at a hot take on the internet I assume, which, I really do have diagnosed mental health issues so that’s probably why. That’s really unhealthy and I’d rather not spend my time on social media angry all the time, which is supposed to be a break from my job and IRL issues, so I’ve more or less decided at this point to take a big step back from hot topic political issues and socialist advocacy for the foreseeable future, publicly anyway. In other words I’ll probably just lurk around this instance and political content in general, as I still think it’s important to read those and know what the general takes, both good and bad, are, but I really don’t feel like debating anymore. Didn’t really take a big turning point decision either, just gradually realized that this is probably better for my mental health.
I’m not saying everyone should be doing what I’m doing obviously, but the short of it is I just don’t think I’m mentally stable enough to do a ton of “advocacy” on the internet, so I won’t do that at least for now. Still a Marxist-Leninist “tankie”, just more of a private one than the norm on this instance.
Just wanted to rant a bit but also to share what’s been going on with me and posting on Lemmy/grad. Anyone feel the same way?
Everyone has their limits. Some of us are really really sensitive to injustice and have a hard time managing our empathy. It’s a factor that led us to communist thought in the first place, but it’s also something that needs to be managed. Especially, we ND comrades can have this problem. There are times where I read about some massacre, or I watch some horrible clip or see a photo and I’m crying for hours, emotionally exhausted, and end up having no energy or focus for tasks that I need to concentrate on. I feel you.
You can still be knowledgeable, participate in actions and educate where you can. But pick your battles and where you can be useful. I learned a long time ago, nothing really good comes from arguing with liberals on the internet. You’re not going to convince them. And unless you’re some charismatic content creator, you’re likely not going to convince people lurking these arguments either.
It’s not an excuse to disengage completely, but you also gotta attend to your happiness. You may feel weird or guilty about it, so it can be difficult. But you have to optimize happiness the best you can. Because otherwise you’ll suffer mentally and physically. It’s your health. And if you’re unhealthy, you’re usefulness towards building revolution suffers too. This shit is a long game.